Stop the Presses

We knew it. Sooner or later a gnome or two would be spotted in the field. They can run but they cannot hide. Actually they have been hiding quite well but NO LONGER.

Eventer79: See, I TOLD you I would find gnomes!!!!!! And not just A gnome, but gnomeS!!! And one is even riding a snail -- that has GOT to be worth some kind of awesome bonus prize! They lurk behind bushes, but my all-seeing eyes can ferret them out! Sorry for the pic quality, it was a "windshield survey."

First of all windshield surveys are perfectly fine and this term will now be used for all pictures taken in the privacy of your own car. (Let's be honest most of them are)

Score

• 2 gnomes: 8 points

Creativity Bonus

For the expression of sheer panic, exasperation and dismay for being caught riding a non-racing snail out in the open without the cover of shrubs and bushes:

4 points - (Look at him...)

Total: 12 points

I know some of you critics do not find this grouping particularly awe inspiring but its our first submitted gnome sighting and that makes it awesome.

Behind the Scenes

Sometimes you have to look beyond the obvious. Sometimes what is going on in the forefront is not the main show.

Belgian-mom has stepped out of the cover of darkness and submitted the following competitive yard for scoring:
At first glance

• 2 deer - 2 points


• Chicken and 2 chicks - 3 points


• Large oversize brown chicken: 2 points


• 2 black geese - 2 points


• Giant mushroom - 1 point


• Windmill (non-functioning object): 1 point

subtotal: 11 points. A very good point standing.

Ah but let's take a closer look at the background.

Belgian-Mom: Hey, I just noticed that in the photo with the windmill, there is a bathtub in the background. Would I get extra points for that? Well, actually I think there is even a blue toilet next to the bathtub.

Here we go - this is so exciting the witnessing of raw talent on display. Let's continue shall we:

• Bathtub: 1 point


• Blue (yes, blue!) toilet: 1 point

OK, OK, take a deep breath

• Red head board and foot board with a flower bed in the center in place of the mattress : 1 point

Subtotal: 3 points + previous 11 for 14 points

Creativity Bonus

For the patriot display of indoor plumbing and bedroom furniture displayed in a manner that I have never seen in my entire life: 4 points

Total: 18 points

To quote Belgian-Mom: I'm gonna win, I'm gonna win, I'm gonna win.....

The gauntlet has been thrown.

Mardi Gras in the Country

Happy Fat Tuesday everybody! We don't have any parades around here that I know of. No jazz bands or feathers, it's kind of mild here in North Carolina.

But just in case you think we avoid playing the game on larger homes:
Two regal lions guarding the citadel and a stellar example of balance in driveways.

AND.......

Neptune is guarding his modesty with a giant sea monster wrapped around his privates dressed in a festive Mardi Gras Hat. You can only image what he flashed to get those beads.

Score

• 2 majestic lions who are in scale to house. - 2 points
• Neptune (it's not art if it's dressed!) - 1 point
• Valentine decoration - 0 points (Still February, wait to next month)

subtotal: 3 points

Creativity Bonus

For Neptune and his beads and the fact his hand is poised for additional flashing: 3 points

Total: 6 points

Ole ole - ole ole
Ole ole - ole ole
Feeling hot hot hot

It's Getting All Lord of the Flies out There

From the fine folks of I Can Has Cheezebuger

It's only a matter of time, folks. The gnomes are getting angry and turning on themselves.

oh the score would be 8 points for the two gnomes

4 creativity points for gnomicide.

Total: 12 points

Find them, count them.

Seahorse Birdbath

It is no secret that I love seahorse birdbaths. I have adored them since I was a little girl. I would look wistfully at yards proudly displaying their nautical bird beverage offering and wish we could have one in our yard too.

Examples

Here is a typical seahorse birdbath in an elegant backyard with typical clam shell bowl. This is is nicely painted example set off by a little dead tree stump.

The same model in a more arid climate. The birds are really going to enjoy the watery goodness offered with a taste of the topics.

Eventer79 found an upscale version - a double decker. Isn't it beautiful (although not painted).

To be honest I found this photo using image search but behold the vision that is the three level seahorse birdbath spectacular.

Please note the fresh white paint with the contrasting trim.

Wow, it's like having one of the Seven Wonders of the World in your own back yard.

Tranquility is a Frog With His Umbrella

After the stress of yesterday's entry, let us sit back and reflect on frogs and umbrellas. Why is there a recurring theme of frogs needing protection from the rain? Isn't it their whole purpose in life to get rained upon and after a good soaking make loud and somewhat annoying croaking noises. I don't know about you but I have been in my backyard a many a time after a thundershower and as yet have I seen one teeny tiny umbrella.

Score

- Kitschy frog couple under protective rain cover: 3 points
- Blooming bird bath: 1 point
- Squirrel (who doesn't get to get out of the rain and is never dry): 1 point
- Angel: 0 points

Subtotal: 5 points

Creativity Bonus

For the poor squirrel's soggy existence: 1 point

Total: 6 points

Sigh, I feel better. Don't you?


Thank you field reporter, Eventer79.

When Words Fail Me

To be honest, I have been sitting on this photo for about a month. For one, I wanted everyone to begin to get a concept of the game. And two, well look at it. I don't know whether to be over joyed or annoyed at the amount of work it represents.

Driving by this yard it would have gone something like this.

Player 1: OMG OMG OMG, there were a lot of ducks, um lets say I don't know 5, yeah 5, I think. And bird houses - do bird houses count? Oh, what else what else...

Player 2: (astounded by the yard but waiting gleefully, waiting for the inevitable....the choke)

Player Choke

This game is played most often in an automobile. You could play a leisurely game walking on country lanes but mostly you are tooling down the road at a pretty good clip. If you are the driver you are probably going to get screwed. Player 2 has no reason what so ever to help you out. In fact, they are laughing at you, right now.

The Score (as player 1 called it)

5 ducks: 5 points

The Actual Score

Does anyone want to take a guess? There are a few factors that make this a very difficult yard to score including when was this photo taken. I am pretty sure just about every major holiday is represented here. To avoid confusion the holiday rule will not be applied. In fact only ducks will be counted.

17 ducks: 17 points

Creativity Bonus

Please, you choked and birdhouses don't count. Maybe they should.

Stand Up and Be Counted

OK, stand back. No crowding. Nothing going on here. Go on home.

Sooner or later someone will find you and you will be counted. Give me a little more time. And don't think I missed the implied threat with the axe and the wheelbarrow.

Happy faces hide evil thoughts. Why do you think clowns are so scary.

Balance in Driveways

It is fairly common for a yard enthusiast to decorate both sides of a driveway with matching motifs. Wheels, tires, flags are not unusual and for the more grandiose decorators there are always matching lions.

Once again snapping photos in the cloak of darkness Belgian-Mom has submitted the following yard.

One one side we have the bottom-half of birdbath topped with a cute frog.
On the other side is a broken birdbath used as a podium with a not-as-cute frog. It's not perfect but very nice balancing effort.

Also there is a "what the heck is that thing" in the tree. We usually don't count suspended items but I'll give Belgium-Mom a point because the hanging thingy seems almost as big as the brightly colored home.

Score

- Birdbath (yellow): 1 point
- 2 broken birdbaths still in use: 4 points
- 3 frogs: 3 points
- Bunny: 1 point
- Hanging thingy: 1 point

subtotal: 10 points

Creativity Bonus

Frogs mounted on birdbath pillars to demarcate driveway boundaries: 2 points

Total: 12 points

The question needs to be asked: were the frogs added to match the house or was the house painted to match the frogs?

Thar She Blows

Sometimes items that seem randomly thrown together tell a tale of high drama.

Eventer79 submitted the following nautical scene:

Someone needs to tell Captain Ahab to forget that white whale and LOOK OUT! Not only is he dangerous close to the lighthouse which apparently warns sailors of the very sinister Giant Duck Rock, but the ship's first mate has been eaten by an enormous Man-Child who is just biding his time until the captain takes a step back!

The Captain is cautiously smoking his pipe in the crows nest as his underground ship moves ever closer to the shore. Let us hurriedly tally the points...

- Duck (ominously drawing the captain ever closer to the shore) : 1 point

- Lighthouse (its light eerily snuffed out): 1 point

- Ship's Captain nervously searching the horizon with his lamp: 1 point

- Giant boy (um ... he's very big so it's scary): 1 point

- Out of proportion grouping (small captain, big crew member): 1 point

Subtotal: 5 points

Creativity Bonus

For this high sea drama and stoic calmness of the enormous man-boy cruelly devoid of both of his feet by the harsh life of a whaler: 2 points

Total: 7 points

Aye, I be seeing the Great Not-quite-white Duck a coming up over the next swell.

When Johnny Comes Marching Home

I've been playing this game for quite a few years and this is my first weaponry as ornamentation presentation

Feldspar submits the following nicely tailored yard for scoring:

Feldspar: I see 1 point for the birdbath, 1 point for the statue in the bird bath, kissing dutch 2 points, rusting agricultural equipment 0 points. FAKE and ILL PROPORTIONED CANNON ya got to allow a couple of points for originality for that!

Could be, please go on....

Feldspar: I have a drive by update on that photo. Statue in birdbath is an angel so no points for that? However the wanna be howitzer still has Christmas lights on it, so plus one for that even if not visible in photo?

OK, let's look a little closer. There they are... I have always considered white lights to be very tasteful on artillery.
Score:

- Birdbath: 1 point

- Dutch people kissing (very bright red): 3 points
- Ornamental non-functioning (let's hope) structures in yard art: 1 point

- Holiday bonus (2 months past Christmas): 2 points

Subtotal: 7 points

Creativity Bonus

On first sight, having a cannon proudly displayed in your front yard would be worthy of 2 points but given said implement of destruction is wrapped in Christmas cheer: 3 points

Total: 10 points

A very strong first play Feldspar.

Do not tick off a neighbor who has a cannon permanently pointed at your house

When Deer Go Bad

You know that family... Where the adults are all moral and upright, live in their house with the little white trellises and have a family dog. And the son is a no-account trouble maker with his chains and missing ear and leering stares. Oh come on, you know on 510 Deer Street.

I thought so.

Score:

- Dog: 1 point

- 3 Deer: 3 points

- Mix matched sizing in a group: 1 point

Subtotal: 5 points

Creativity Bonus

Smirky deer kid with the chain in one ear giving off attitude: 1 point

Total: 6 points

When bad things happen to good Deer parents.

Thanks Eventer79 for the submitted picture.

Joy Riding

A good yard grouping should tell a story. At first glance this is a happy scene with a delightful donkey giving his friend the chicken a little joy ride in his cart. Also notice that the donkey is carrying spare horseshoes in case he has difficulties along the way.

Initial score:

- Chicken: 1 point
- seagull: 1 point
- 2 birdbaths: 2 points

Kitsch:

- Classic donkey pulling a cart: 3 points

But Wait

If you look carefully you observe the pathos of loneliness and neglect. Who is that peering sorrowfully behind the shrubbery? His once proud colors are now sadly faded.

It's a gnome proudly and relentlessly carrying his gigantic fish. On the right is an example of his kin in former days.

- Gnome sighting: 4 points.

Subtotal: 11 points

Creativity Bonus

For chicken going for a ride in a donkey cart: 1 point

Total: 12 points

Happy chickens outweigh sad gnomes. It's a fact of life.

Tis the Season

Belgian-Mom has submitted this small display for judgement.

Actually this is a stronger entry than meets the eye and a good example of the holiday rule.

Subtotal

- 2 giraffes (a good strong choice not your average deer or goose): 2 points

- both are dressed: 2 points

Holiday Bonus

You get 1 point for each month after the holiday. The submitter theorizes that the giraffes are dressed in holiday garland. Sounds good to me.

2 Christmas objects 2 months past holiday: 4 points

Total: 8 points

Belgian-Mom apologizes for the quality of the picture but it was taken in the seclusion of darkness.

When Necessity Dictates Inspiration

This is the first featured broken birdbath still in use issue. Sometimes you love a thing so much you cannot bare to let it go. I totally understand that. I am also a huge fan of the seahorse birdbath.


Score:

- 2 elephants: 2 points (my first elephants, this a a great display!)
- Swan: 1 point
- Average birdbath: 1 point

Kitsch:

- Frogs under the umbrella: 3 points
- Lawn jokey guy: 3 points
- Seahorse birdbath (with broken bonus): 3 + 1 points

subtotal: 14 points

Creativity Bonus (I'm so excited my hands are shaking)
Broken seahorse birdbath with another birdbath placed on top to make it functional with a dove and/or pigeon to grace the top. 4 whooping points

total: 18 points

I am looking for seahorse birdbaths for a montage.

You Are Not A Jedi Yet

Eventer79 has submitted a gnome sighting

I cannot confirm the ID on this one without trespassing grievously. But the dutch girl and the frog totem are cool anyway -- extra point for the Budweiser tallboy??

Score:

Frog totem (I agree, pretty cool): 1 point

Although I would like to award you the coveted 4 points for gnome viewing, I cannot. The fallen figure is actually the other half of Dutch People kissing (in green): 3 points

Creativity Bonus

um the tallboy... no award points for rural detritus and debris. This includes cans, bottles and deer carcasses. 0 points (but nice try)

total: 4 points

Of note: Green is the third Dutch People color submitted by Eventer79!