Monday, August 31, 2009

The Adoption Center

eventer79 found the birthplace of our mascot the Giant Chicken of Franklin County. The chicken inspired me to write this blog after playing the game for about 10 years with friends and family and of course the chicken is the title photo.

eventer79: This is the statuary in Elizabethtown where giant chickens are born (and pigs and angels and saints and pelicans and bears and and and...). Apparently they start unfinished and then the striking paint job is an option. Also note the gorilla/gargoyle complete with bright red nostrils/eyes/mouth. A bloodthirsty King Kong gargoyle is a must for any yard...

Paint adorned cranky bear and a dandy pelican

Naked bear and the Giant Chicken's brother!

The monkey/gargoyle guarding the entrance to naked yard art land.

All of this makes a nice segue into my own trip to the same concrete heaven If anyone gets down to White Lake please take more picture of the surrounding area. I took a lot but there is so much more territory to cover when people live near a fine establishment such as this, they buy stuff.

A closeup of the Gate Keeper. Nice muscle development.

Those darn Saints and Greek God hooligans hanging around

A naked guardian , not so scary now are you, and some dinosaur friends.

A giant chicken waiting to be loved and adopted

No points for statuary stores but thank you for the inspiring photo-documentary. Sniff, it breaks your heart to seem them in cages.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Community Meeting

Yer Sister's submission smacks of conspiracy. I suspect a gnome rabble-rouser is stirring up the natives.

    If you don't comply with our neighborhood convenants, I can't be responsible for what happens to little Bambi here


  • Angry mother deer: 1 point
  • Annoyed but not as angry big sister: 1 point
  • Cowering rabbit: 1 point
  • Furious owl (V for victory?): 1 point
  • Slightly concerned neighbor gnome: 4 points
  • Don Gnomleone: 4 points

Subtotal: 12 points

Creativity Bonus

For the placement of the collection in a town hall setting and the implied menace of the fawn squeezing gnome: 3 points

Total: 15 points

I am sure as soon as Momma Deer finds her legs she is going to kick some ass.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Ambassador

The gnomes have sent an ambassador to Life's Highway Game to inquire on our current lack of gnome representation:

We must prepare for the coming of Gozer.

Well, yes... um...

While our friend here tries to drag you down into the pits of Hell with his soulless eyes, I will make a quick retreat.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Tree Grouper

Trees inspire all types of artists. People write about them, sing about them, paint them and some lovingly use them to display their lawn decoration collection.

eventer79 has been hard at work maintaining her massive lead in the Life's Highway Game:

Classic courting frogs kitsch with triangle border of death

Yodeling cow boy beside a .... frame thingy with wheels

A chicken family contained successfully by the triangles of doom

My favorite! Seahorse birdbath


  • Courting Frogs (kitsch factor): 3 points
  • Singing cowboy: 1 point
  • Wheels on a frame: 1 point
  • Rooster: 1 point
  • Hen and 5 chicks: 6 points
  • Double decker seahorse birdbath: 3 points
  • 2 cardinals: 2 points
  • Canada goose: 1 point

(list correction)

  • bunny: 1 point
  • squirrel like things: 2 points

Subtotal: 21 points

Creativity Bonus

For the recycling of a triple decker into a double decker seahorse birdbath as evidenced by the clam shell within the clam shell and then throwing in a few cardinals for extra measure: 2 points

Total: 23 points

Just for fun - a yodeling cowboy:

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Oregon Windmills

Great Photographers submit images to the Life's Highway Game. Some are professional and some probably should be. I am not one of those people. My camera skills are limited and I do not have the bravery required to be a great photo journalist.

I captured this shot by dragging Feldspar (my little brother) down the street of my Dad's neighborhood with a convoluted story involving admiration and dedication to rebuilding our own edifice once we got home. Otherwise, I was willing to throw him in the fire if the jig was up and someone walked outside the house.

Non-functioning but.... um... Go Beavers!


  • Windmill painted with school colors and a shield!: 2 points (because it's dressed)
  • Ropes tying it to the ground in case of spontaneous lift off: 0 points

Subtotal: 2 points

Creativity Bonus

For a 5 foot tall token of your alumni esteem plus the added bonus of dragging your brother along as a alibi: 2 points

Total: 4 points

Being disappointed by the lack of beaver art, I am putting out a request for beaver yard art or alumni related yard art. (but I really do want some beavers too)

Feldspar these meager points are for you... you're welcome.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Bits and Pieces Make the Outfit

Accessories confuse me. I am pretty good at picking out the large pieces, like pants and blouse and the once in a great while dress. But when you down to the tiny bits, the right necklace, just the one perfect bangle bracelet to set it off, the perfect shoes I begin to loose cohesion.

Eventer79 submits the following entry. Please click on the image so you can enjoy the tiny bits that were added points of flare.


    • Large green non-functioning wind mill: 1 point
    • Silhouette horse (like a shadow, only standing up): 1 point
      Silhouette carriage: 1 point
    • Happy stick lady: 1 point
    • Unhappy stick man forced to wear a rusted can and haul 2 feed buckets: 1 point
    • Bay horse bust (or chess piece Knight but still a bay): 1 point
    • Rat or an unfortunately look bear swinging from a dead limb: 1 point
    • Tiny frog with a bull eye swinging from a dead branch: 1 point
    • Teeny angel suspended under the deck support: 1 point

    Subtotal: 9 points

    Creativity Bonus

    For the matching tree skeletons framing the yard art collection each accessorized with a cute bird house and animal on trapezes: 1 point

    Total: 10 points

    The question is:

    Did those trees just die there and subsequently used to hang do-dads or were the dead trees placed like fence posts for additional do-dadery?

    Makes you think, doesn't it?

    Friday, August 21, 2009

    Film Documentary

    (whisper) Today's entry was captured by Please no loud noises and keep as still as possible.

    "Observe the creature in his natural habitat. The males are often found hiding amongst tall grasses or hedge rows. The females are rarely observed in the wild."

    "Oh bother, look you've gone and startled him. This is Reginald Hedgehog reporting for Gnome Hunt."


    • Hedgehog naturalist: 1 point
    • Gnome flushed from his natural habitat: 4 points

    Subtotal: 5 points

    Creativity Bonus

    For an expressive and adorable hedgehog: 1 point.

    Total: 6 points

    For those of you who haven't seen this hedgehog or for those of you who want to see it again:

    Thursday, August 20, 2009


    Today we feature a more specialized yard artist: the light show enthusiast. Their hearts run free from the fettered bounds of daylight. Not as common in a classic neighborhood as say an RV park but you can occasionally find their string-light loving spirit shining brightly.

    d/iowa comments and submits:
      what you can't see is the cord from the happy heart thing- it runs up the porch and through the front door- it must put on quite a show after dark.

    well let's take a look

    yes, bless their hearts (no pun intended), there it goes right under the door.


    Electric Palm Tree: 1 point
    Parrot on a brick pedestal (painted blue for daylight enjoyment): 1 point
    3 painted milk cans: 3 points
    Happy Valentine heart with lights: 1 point + holiday bonus of 7 points (score!)
    Clear phallic shaped tube thingy: 1 point
    Plastic flowers: 0 points
    Plastic pom-pom tree: 0 points

    Subtotal: 14 points

    Creativity Bonus

    For the idea of the white capped tower of love lit up with its happy heart partner: 3 points

    Total: 17 points

    I bet someone had a good Valentine's Day. How many time a day do you trip on that cord?

    Wednesday, August 19, 2009

    King Angel

    I know that the following entry is not-technically yard art and more like deck/fence art. But what is a deck but a floating lawn extension where you can sit and be outside yet remain untouched by icky nature.

    2murthas/Lynda comments and submits:

      Elvis lives! I saw him on a fence when I was out for a walk yesterday

    And Lo, Elvis did alight upon the railing to inspire all peoples of the neighborhood


    70's Vegas Elvis in flowing blue raiment with mega-collar wings: 1 point

    Subtotal: 1 point

    Creativity Bonus

    3 points for lovin' Elvis and not being afraid to share it.

    Total: 4 points

    Ambition is a dream with a V8 engine - Elvis Presley (1935 - 1977)

    Tuesday, August 18, 2009

    Cowboy Courtin'

    Silhouettes- I don't get them. They are not cheerful and they do not brighten and add color to your yard. You can't feel that little jolt of good cheer from pride of ownership (Like I would if I had a triple-decker seahorse birdbath with color coordinated stripes, sigh). An ominous shadowy figure forever sulking in the front yard is sure to convey a "come on in the door is open" message.

    Howdy there Little Missy, would you like to take the chariot out for spin, if you get what I mean?


    Scuzzy cowboy: 1 point
    Little Miss Sunshine Bonnet toilet (dressed!): 2 points
    Wagon axle: 1 point
    Green fencing (for that special touch): 1 point

    Subtotal: 5 points

    Creativity Bonus

    For the My Little Prairie bonnet worn by the bathroom fixture and the brave happy face she puts on in the company of eternal lechery and sneering. 2 points

    Total: 7 points

    My psycho little dog would never stop barking at that guy standing in the driveway.

    Monday, August 17, 2009


    OK, I am caving under the pressure of all this snow. A 1 point bonus will be added for a full Snow White set and a 2 point bonus for an incomplete set. Previous Snow admissions will have to post a negotiation comment for a post point addendum.

    Lauren comments and submits the following:

    "My 8 year old took this while we were visiting my friend's grandma earlier this month in the Leeds neighborhood of Sioux City, Iowa. I'm thinking the rocks are sort of a dwarf Stonehenge arrangement. Or an altar to Snow White. Or maybe other dwarfs are buried under there. "
    • A suspiciously rejuvenated Jenny Craiged Snow White: 1 point
    • 7 fawning dwarfs: 7 points + 1 point for the snow effect
    Subtotal: 8 points
    Creativity Bonus
    Lining up the gang on the wall like a police line up does warrant extra points although the backdrop does show Snow's dress to the best advantage: 0 points.
    Total: 8 points
    I agree with Lauren. I suspect sacrificed minions to the alter of Snow White's perpetual youth.

    Sunday, August 16, 2009

    The Snow Effect

    Snow and her gang are a more prevalent yard fixture than I had originally realized. Maybe I have been ignoring this phenomenon because of an unintentionally disdaining of pseudo-gnomes. The Dwarfs do have beards except for Doopey and we all know he is for the most part destined for the short bus so you can't count him. They wear pointy type caps, they seem menacing enough but I believe a tad over-grown for true gnomeness.

    KB9VGH offers the following submission:

    Snow White, the matron years.
    • Snow White on too many acorn cakes (dressed!): 2 points
    • 7 starved Dwarfs: 7 points
    • Tiny flamingo on a stick: 1 point
    • Wagon/cart with many many pots-o-flower: o points
    Subtotal: 10 points

    Creativity Bonus

    For the Snow White's disturbingly beefy arms and her dislocated shoulder and for her forced starvation of her entourage: 2 points

    Total: 12 points

    I'm telling you, Snow, there comes a time when you have to give up the bow.

    Saturday, August 15, 2009

    Snow White Et Al

    Snow White seems to be quite the social butterfly. I am beginning to think I will have to add her and her height-challenged minions as a kitsch bonus.

    edition-of-one has agreed to play our game and submitted the following entry:

    Sneezy does not find Darth Vader a suitable gentleman caller.

    • Snow White: 1 point
    • 7 chaperons: 7 points
    • Disdainful courting frogs (kitsch factor): 3 points
    Subtotal: 11 points

    Creativity Bonus

    Although I enjoyed the brightly colored vignette and the cute additional frogs on a bench, I do not find the collection presentation remarkable (although I truly envy the lawn). 0 points

    Total: 11 points

    I wonder if the Dwarfs will come over and re-seed my lawn.

    Thursday, August 13, 2009

    Ducks In A Row

    I never played with dolls much as a child. But I was not opposed to grabbing my poor long suffering cat and stuffing it into a baby dress and watch it stagger and fall over like a load of cement. Once incapacitated by the shame of the dress, I would stroll it around the house in a baby carriage.

    Some people never get over the idea of dressing dolls and carry the fetish outside on display in their very own yards.

    d/iowa comments and submits:

      This is right over the line in Decatur, NE. The ducks wear different things at different times of the year- it's pretty funny.

    The tribe's offering does not please King Ralph the Nude.


    • Pelican: 1 point
    • 7 duck/seagull hybrids in matching attire: 14 points
    • 7 tiny fishing polls with fish or bobbers: 7 points

    Subtotal: 15 points

    Creativity Bonus

    For proudly displaying the catch of the day (or lack there off) while standing on their poor little wire prostheses to a disdainful pelican who apparently does not approve of the outfit of the day: 4 points.

    Total: 19 points

    Receives the Gold Manatee of excellence

    Of course, d/iowa is now obligated to submit future duck/seagull fashion collections.

    Wednesday, August 5, 2009

    Three Hour Tour

    d/iowa is back in the game with the following submission:

    Everyone told the Pugsley-Howell's to avoid taking a cruise during the hurricane season.

    Mr P&H: Hold onto my collar Lovie, I'm going to make for the next rail.

    Mrs. P&H: I think I am going to be sick


    • Bear clinging for dear life: 1 point
    • Cat being cool with it's natural balance and all: 1 point
    • 2 pugs dressed: 4 points

    Subtotal: 6 points

    Creativity Bonus

    For steadfast and stoic bravery of the pugs and the downright chicken hearted bear: 2 points

    Total: 8 points

    During inclement weather the cruise line staff will place barf bags on every 3 feet of railing... the more you know.

    Tuesday, August 4, 2009

    Cart Before The... Well, You Know.

    After engaging the ignition switch, Emmanuel began to have doubts on his assembly of the Magna-Cartinator 2000.

    "Is the cart part A or part B?"


    • Driver of unknown ethnicity: 1 point
    • Donkey of ill nature and cart of smug variety (kitsch factor): 3 points

    Subtotal: 4 points

    Creativity Bonus

    For the impending ass kicking on generic driver of no known cultural background: 2 points.

    Total: 6 points

    Suddenly I feel compelled to purchase a pair of yellow capris.

    Monday, August 3, 2009

    A Garden for a Princess

    Princess Grace never really enjoyed her evening walk through the royal garden. She could never shake the feeling that the flowers had hands.

      Bunnykins... Bunnykins... where are you, OH!... did you feel that!


      • Naive princess: 1 point
      • Bunny: 1 point
      • 3 gnomes: 12 points
      Subtotal: 14 points

      Creativity Bonus

      For three gnome hats cresting out of the garden like shark fins and for the upcoming peril of Grace and Bunnykins: 1 point.

      Total: 15 points

      Never trust a gnome when you cannot see his hands.