Friday, October 30, 2009

Happy Halloween

Early in the development of the rules for Life's Highway Game, objects of religion were determined to be exempt from scoring. General snarking, abject amusement and deriding were discouraged for fear of lightning bolts from the Higher Being of your choice.

Having said this, eventer79 has found an exception to the rule.

Due to scheduling conflicts, St Francis wishes everyone an early Happy Halloween. Preparation of the annual naked bonfire dance will keep him unavoidably detained.

Score

  • St Francis of Assisi dressed as a witch with his faithful dog familiar: 2 points
Subtotal: 2 points

Creativity Bonus

For allowing your statuary to be part of the Halloween festivities and ignoring the whole pesky pagan holiday connection: 2 points

Score: 4 points

If you do not hear from me next week, I will be unavoidable detained by a lightning strike.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Beach Blanket Bingo

In Heaven a special corner must exist for people who dedicate their lives in the pursuit of drive-by entertainment. Why do they do it? Sacrificing their hard earned free time to give us a moment's pleasure as we whizz by in our cars.

The intrepid eventer79 submits and comments:

    "Oh yes....it was as tacky as it looks. We even saw the owners doing "repairs" the next day -- which consisted of adding a layer of duct tape and spray painting over top. This little gem is courtesy of Ocracoke Island."


(please click on picture for full viewing pleasure)

Score
  • Sufer dude: 1 point
  • Swimming pool (which I assume is non-functioning): 1 point
  • Pterodactyl on vacation: 1 point
  • Tiger whale or tiger dolphin: 1 point
  • Festive turtle: 1 point
  • Mutated shore bird: 1 point
  • Friendly life guard girl not dressed for work: 1 point
  • Fishing dude who has had one too many trips to the cooler: 1 point
  • Deformed fish on the line: 1 point
  • 9 floating fish: 9 points
  • 6 snow balls?: 6 points

Subtotal: 24 points

Creativity Bonus

For the foam and duct tape extravaganza: 4 points


You make it look so easy

Total: 28 points

2009 Duck brand duct tape Stuck at Prom Scholarship Contest winner:

who apparently also have a lot of free time on their hands.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Prelude to Halloween

Once again boys and girls it is time to walk the murky path down Baby Doll Land. Lost souls or maybe demons lurk within the plastic confines of Betsy Wetsy.

Alec Lord Gnome documents his sighting:

"The black words on the doll are "Devil Doll" .. possibly a relative of Chucky."



Brains

Score

  • Psychotic Killer Kathy: (wardrobe by Sharpie, so counts for me): 2 points
  • Blue mushroom: 1 point
  • Doomed hummingbird on a stick: 1 point
  • Black Flower (dramatic but seems to be alive): 0 points

Subtotal: 4 points

Creativity Bonus

For axis of evil spreading from the maniacal cheerleader ever approaching the pure spirit of the hummingbird: 3 points

Total: 7 points

It's always the suspense that gets to me. If you love pure suspense go see Paranormal Activity. The movie was almost as scary as dolls.

To visit the world of Alec Lord Gnome link here

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Mixed Media

Yard artists should be given a lot of leeway. The creator marches to a beat coming from a most peculiar drummer. It is not for us to question the essence that is the holiday lawn presentation. Be that as it may, there are exceptions. Tufa Girl has found one.

Don't mix Halloween and Christmas decorations together and think you can get a pass from Life's Highway Game. It is on Texas yard Score
  • Cardinal on a stick: 1 point
  • Satanic owl: 1 point
  • 2 deer: 2 points
  • Militia man with a gun: 1 point
  • Wonder Woman shield of power: 1 point
  • Tiny cow: 1 point
  • Angels guarding entrance: (mixing pagan holiday with religious symbols negates angel rule): 2 points
  • Fall garland on arbor: 1 point
  • Christmas garland everywhere: 1 point
  • Crypt with statues not sure if sacred, Halloween or Christmas?: 1 point (I'm counting it)
  • Broken birdbath: 2 points

  • Birdbath with modest lady: 1 point
  • Cork screw pedestal thing: 1 point
  • Plastic flowers galore: 0 points
  • Hanging thing that could be made of seashells (score!!): 1 point
  • Window display (I haven't a clue wish I could see in better): 0 points


  • 4 little people statues: 4 points
  • Dumbo-style elephant: 1 point
  • Huge flower basket with plastic flowers: 1 point
  • Giant Star (a Lone Star... sorry): 1 point
  • Bunny: 1 point
  • Yellow fish looking thing: 1 point

Subtotal: 27 points

Creativity Bonus

For the brave choice of "heck it is fall and we have a run on holidays" approach to yard artistry: 4 points

Total: 31 points

Welcome to the Loyal Order of the Golden Manatee


Holiday decorations are usually not counted in the Life's Highway Game. Festive seasonal decorations are admired but not scored.

Monday, October 26, 2009

A Little Too Innocent

The war continues...


Sorry everyone, I am in the midst of a heavy work load. The drought will be over soon. I have some really great yards to score piling up in my bin.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Pushy Salesmen

Unless you have been living under a rock or disdain television for the higher entertainment venue that is the interwebs, then you are aware of the Travelocity Gnome. Just because the little guy seems oh so charming with his little accent does not mean that he has reformed from his natural gnome character. Have you ever wondered what he is packing in his pockets?

Yeah, one innocently holds a watering can but what is it with the shaft and the tire iron?

hey, psst... want to buy a house

Intrepid reporter redgirl found a nefarious plot to use gnomes to sell houses on mylifeisaverage.com Two gnomes reside in my back yard and who knows what they are scheming.

Checkout redgirl's blog Snippits From a People Watcher She has an unique insight into human character.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Hoaxes

Last week the world was enthralled by the Heene family hoax. We were captivated by the saga of a six year old boy's peril while riding a runaway balloon shaped liked a flying saucer. So many of us want to believe in these contrived dramas. And so many of us want to believe in Area 51 and UFO's in general.

eventer79 found a base for paranormal activities:

"Apparently, we have Area 53....right here on Cape Hatteras!"

just, wow

Hey, get off my lawn!

Score

  • OK, I admit I do not have a category for people who live in yard art: 0 points
  • Rocks to keep the Jupiter 2 from tipping over: 0 points
  • Flat shuttle craft: 0 points
  • Titus and his gang: 3 points

Subtotal: 3 points

Creativity Bonus

For the awesomeness of living in a space ship and for the pain of being their next door neighbor: 4 points

Total 7 points



Danger, Danger Will Robinson

Sunday, October 18, 2009

The Great Panda Migration

Every Fall the great Texas Panda Migration begins. Apparently the Pandas do not make it very far but darn it, they try.

Tufa Girl comments and submits:

"I have driven by this one for years. How did I miss it?"

Come along children if we hurry we can make it to the driveway this year.

Score

  • 3 flat not-so-cute pandas: 3 points
  • Birdbath with bathing squirrel: 2 points
  • Seahorse birdbath (my personal favorite & kitsch factor): 3 points
Subtotal: 8 points

Creativity Bonus

For the proud panda family making their way across vast front yard in search of a bamboo sandwich and because I am very pleased that there are seahorse birdbaths in Texas: 2 points

Total: 10 points

Most pitiful and yet adorable baby panda in the world (turn up your volume):

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I'm Free

None of us enjoy being constricted by social boundaries. Sometimes a gnome gotta be what a gnome's gotta be.

Pascal Kestemont submits:



Nathan only felt truly free when not confined by silly customs like pants

Score

  • Exhibitionist gnome: 4 points
  • Lantern frame swing: 1 point
  • Motor?: 0 points
  • Watering can: 0 points
Subtotal: 5 points

Creativity Bonus

For a gnome who likes to swing all his parts and for his carefree body language while doing so: 2 points

Total: 7 points

It is finally time:


Underpants gnomes

Apparently, gnomes will collect from their own

Monday, October 12, 2009

I'll Take That With Mushrooms, Please.

OK, everyone let's get settled and comfortable. eventer79 has uncovered yet another massive yard art collection. Please click on each picture to get the entire view.

Score (as listed by eventer79, my comments are in red)

View 1


  • blue gazing orb: 1 point
  • turtle: 1 point
  • yoga gnome: 4 points
  • farmhouse birdhouse: 0 points (on the ground for the vertigo challenged)
  • prop chair: 1 point (non-functioning - no seat)
  • electric palm tree #1: festive lighting 1 point
  • sundial: 0 points (pretty)
  • terra cotta angel: 0 points
  • scenic ladder: 0 points (oh you are greedy)
  • pitcher birdbath with two bears/squirrels?: 2 points for broken birdbath + 3 points for stuff
  • green hangy thingy: 1 point (I haven't a clue)
  • luck dragon dog: (awwww cute): 1 point
  • snuggling frogs: (kitsch bonus): 3 points
  • frog and baby frog: 2 points
  • painted mushroom: some one's been to pottery class: 1 point
  • red gazing orb: 1 point
  • duck: 1 point
  • frog: 1 point
  • flowerpot cascade: (ha ha ha) 1 point
  • purple gazing orb: 1 point
  • three mushrooms (unpainted): (missed glazing day): 3 points
  • reclining stag and doe: 2 points
  • happy huggy frog couple: 2 points
  • fat frog: 1 point
  • lil frog: 1 point
  • smiley log face: 1 point
View 2

  • Frog on a birdbath: 1 point
  • flowery decorative pennant thing?: (hummingbird habitat) 1 point
  • fox under a bush: 1 point
  • 2 geese: 2 points
  • windmill: non-functioning 1 point
  • ostracized squirrel: (banned forever) 1 point
View 3
  • frog with baby on back (green and white): 1 point
  • another painted mushroom: (there is never too many mushrooms) 1 point
  • two more froggy blobs at base of pots (I think they REALLY like frogs): (& mushrooms) 2 points
  • bunny/pig animal: 1 point
  • birdbath: 1 point
  • cherub on the "throne": (OK, I am counting that): 1 point
  • 2 puppies: 2 points
  • rabbit: 1 point
  • blue gazing orb: 1 point
  • duck: 1 point
  • frog on a log: 1 point
  • 2 plain mushrooms: (sigh, losing its charm) 2 points
  • dog on the porch: 1 point
  • red and blue marbled orbs (2): (possibly those are bowling balls)2 points
  • another plain mushroom: 1 point

Subtotal: 62 points

Creativity Bonus

For the generous use of mushrooms and frogs and because I love the flowerpot cascade: 3 points

Total: 65 points

    "Whew, there are a couple more things kinda hidden, but that's all I can pick out"

I'm tired and a little hungry.

Friday, October 9, 2009

The Birth Of Venus

Legends predating the birth of Piggly Wiggly foretell the arising of a porcine goddess who will deliver all porkers from the fate of Saturday BBQ's or here in the south "pig pickin's". She will arise from a font and inspire all with her beauty. So why not in Texas...

Tufa Girl comments and submits:
    "Pig's upper body in the birdbath. Don't know if it has been eaten by the birdbath or the birdbath is just deeper than it would appear. Maybe piggy is trying to get out of the "Stargate"."
Venus is experiencing a tight squeeze emerging from birdbath Stargate. Perhaps she should have forgone a few of those Krispy Kremes in porkers paradise.

Score
  • Birdbath portal with a pig clog: 1 point
  • Butterfly: 1 point
  • Non-functioning and somewhat rickety windmill: 1 point
Subtotal: 3 points

Creativity Bonus

For the surprising effect of a pig erupting from a bird bath with the accompaniment of a lone butterfly: 3 points.

Total: 6 points
enough with the gold, where are the creme filled donuts?

Check out Tufa Girl's blog for a Texas Tufa taste of Texas beauty.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

For You Crafty Folks

OK, really, really?


A paper bag "mushroom". (I am not kidding)


There is also what appears to be a Tide bottle converted into a gnome habitat with bonus sharpie detailing.

I can't score this. My head exploded. Um, enjoy.

Freeloaders

Julie found it impossible to protect her popcorn from the gigantic Canadian pigeons.

You better hold onto the honey, George, they're looking this way

Score

2 opportunistic legless canada geese: 2 points
Disgruntled girl on bench: 1 point
Bears with bee hive: 1 point
Very cute turtle: 1 point
Whirligigs: 2 points
Cherub: 0 points

Subtotal: 7 points

Creativity Bonus

The presentation is not very inspired although the geese do seem quite deligent is weeding around the flower bed: 0 points

Total: 7 points

These are not all canada geese in fact I think one is a swan but still... give them the damn popcorn:

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Consumate Gambler

I used to be a pretty good card player. Growing up my family was all about playing cards, board games and just about another group competition which may result in a pile of kids screeching, yelling and rolling around like a pile of wild puppies. Be that as it may, I do recognize a true competitor.

eventer79 has been eagerly watching this yard for the past 10 months, gambling that the residents would not get motivated and eventer79 would get the BIG payoff.

"These Christmas trees have been up all year. The decorative fire hydrants are just a bonus"



Score

  • 2 fire hydrants (the assumption is non-functioning): 2 points
  • 2 Christmas Trees with tattered bedraggled trimming: 20 points (1 point for every month past the holiday)
  • Christmas jingly bells on the door: 10 points
  • Purple bow: 0 points (I can't think of a purple holiday)

Subtotal: 32 points

Creativity Bonus

While this is a pretty boring layout by itself, I will grant there is symmetry in the presentation. But for the epic level of procrastination that would allow seasonal decoration to span the entire year until they are almost once again seasonal: 4 points.

Total: 36 points

that'll do, player, that'll do

For you naysayers, if she had waited one more month, I would have had to call the decorations "seasonal" and she would have lost a majority of the points.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

May You Sleep Well

I have made it clear that dolls can scare the crap out of me. In fact put me in a room with a bunch of empty eyed sociopath babies and I get more than a little nervous.

Therefore it is time to scare the love:

Welcome the the Gates of Hell and Have a Nice Day

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Windmills Of Your Mind

You know how it is. There is an awkward spot in your yard that you really don't know what to do with it. For example, I have a utility box in my front yard. After much mental struggling and seemingly lack of creativity, I put a free floating fence in front of it. Don't get me started on spontaneously placed railing that randomly erupt from mid-lawn.

This yard artist had an weird angular corner on their lot:


woo hoo, an homage to florally festive dutch dairy farmers who love bears

Score

  • 6 red milk cans with contrasting white trim bedecked with plastic flower: 6 points
  • 2 red wheel barrows with contrasting white trim with more plastic flowers: 2 points
  • 7 black bears trying to bury the plastic flowers: 7 points
  • Cute as heck porcupine : 1 point
  • Doll house style white windmill trimmed in red on a brick pedestal (non-functioning): 1 point
  • More pots because you cannot have enough plastic flowers: 0 points

Subtotal: 17 points

Creativity Bonus

For the eye-popping red, white and pink color bonanza and for that lone blue-grey porcupine - hang in there little buddy: 1 point

Total: 18 points

We haven't even touched the milking can as yard art subject. Requesting any and all examples.