Sunday, May 2, 2010

Scene of the Crime

Diane comments and submits:

"Today i actually walked in someone's YARD to get pics of the broken frog art I pass all the time. I could never get a good angle from the street- so today I grew some big balls and just walked right on up. what is happening to me????"

Well, I will tell you what happened... you are developing into an ace yard art forensic reporter (also congrats on the ball growing, I hope that works out for you).

Let us review the crime scene: Neighbors are milling around and we have gawkers and looky-loos. Perhaps someone knows what happen or perhaps the unsub is watching the excitement.

Let's see what the neighbors have to say
"I was sitting here in my own home, you know this used to be a nice neighborhood and Arnold here.... Arnold take the fish out of your mouth you look like and idiot..Arnold says" look Mildred the frogs have been massacred"... mind you... I don't watch the neighbors or anything but Arnold here... Arnold take the fish out of you mouth...... "

I think we are finished here, lets go check out the crime scene.

The home has been ransacked and destroyed and looks vaguely disturbing for female passer-bys.
The first body is found with the roof, and the frog is laying on its head. This is indicative of a massive force applied upon the reptilian abode from inside the home.

The second body was found some distance away from the initial crime scene. Is is a murder suicide OR a double murder set up to look like a murder suicide? And please be careful walking around the crime scene we do not want anyone impaled by the suggestive roof structure.

Score
  • Boy on tricycle: 1 point
  • Children playing on a swing (I have a feel they know something): 1 point
  • Birdbath: 1 point
  • Angry fat wife bird: 1 point
  • Sniveling fishing eating pelican husband: 1 point
  • Cauldron (frog legs anyone?): 1 point
  • Frogs under umbrella kitsch strung over the front lawn: 3 points
Subtotal: 9 points

Creativity Bonus

For the frog tragedy and the flagrant display of a beloved kitsch item strewn about the yard with no respect for their privacy. Someone should put a sheet over them or something: 3 points

Total: 12 points

The frogs in happier times:
except for the part where they can't stand each other so they sit on separate sides of the house.

13 comments:

  1. I have a bad feeling about Arnold, I find him very suspicious...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lola Nova, yes Arnold seems suspicious those quiet ones, they will sometimes just crack under pressure.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This type of unsub can be detected by their antisocial behaviour. They tend to be loners, with a short temper and a need to control situations in which they are involved. Statistically, they tend to be white males in their mid-30's with a history of family statue-related violence. There has been a recent trigger which led to the wanton disrespect for the corpses after death.

    ReplyDelete
  4. He was always such a quiet guy, kept to himself. We had no idea he harbored such hatred of frogs.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You never can tell about those frog haters, Mom L.

    Also eventer79 the unsub could be a twelve year old with destructive yard art tendencies.

    ReplyDelete
  6. so i walked by yesterday and one frog was back on the stand-after being down for weeks- do you think they saw me taking pics? omg! i wanted to take a pic of it but i chickened out!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Not you, Diane. I choose to believe you were without your trusty camera.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The frogs had it coming. Day after day they sat there, just waiting for the other yardlings to look away, then ZOT: Those awful, sticky tongues would smack them on the back of the head. And have you ever heard concrete frogs laughing hysterically? It's like fingernails on a blackboard. It was only a matter of time before someone took 'em down.

    ReplyDelete
  9. MyMaracas, a shiver just went down my spine thinking about concrete frog laughter. If I ever hear that, I take them down myself.

    ReplyDelete
  10. That is called a Cnversation Chair. It has Victorian courting origins or something. It doesn't mean they dislike each other. The chair is designed so you can sit next to each other and chat comfortably.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks Lauren, I knew it was a courting bench but did not know it was called a conversation chair. I believe we can assume the bloom is off this rose and they are way past the infatuation phase.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Nice site, very informative. I like to read this.,it is very helpful in my part for my criminal law studies.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dianah, glad to be of help. I am known for my advanced criminal methodology. All the greats consult me.

    ReplyDelete

Field Reporters: feel free to mingle with your public

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.