Saturday, June 12, 2010

Lighthouse Extravaganza

The Higher Power and I are at the beach this weekend so this seems the perfect time to share the sea air. Good thing Lauren did all this work for us.

Lauren comments and submits

"On the same day we shot the insufficient yet still touching photographic documentary of poor Snow, her remaining dwarfs and the fallen brethren, we drove through the neighborhood and saw this monument to the love of all things nautical. I pledged then and there to return and document this moving, if landlocked tribute to
the sea."

Score (list and nautical documentary supplied by Lauren, my comments are in red)

along the house, corner to corner
- 15 lighthouses: 15 points
- 8 gazing balls: 8 points
- 3 uninhabited Gnome benches (teeny tiny benches): 3 points
- 1 lighthouse plaque: 1 point
- 5 various sized lighthouses: 5 points
- 1 sailboat wall plaque: 1 point
- 1 pelican: 1 point
- 2 grounded sailboats and residual surf: 2 points

1 lighthouse garden flag: 0 points
9 lighthouses: (I am beginning to see a theme): 9 points
3  gazing balls: 3 points

"the other side of the peninsula" (ignoring the previously counted stuff)
- 12 lighthouses: 12 points
- 1 sailboat of the same variety as the previous 2: 1 point
- 3 Welcome signs and totem of the nautical theme: 0 points
- 1 lonely gazing ball: 1 point
also if you will note, to the extreme center left, she seems to be
taking over the neighbor's yard! (OMG, it is spreading thus proving a long suspected theory)
- 2 twin red/white lighthouses: 2 points
- 2 gazing balls... and more of that crazy picket fence (very wavy): 2 points

- 2 nautical garden flags: 0 points
- 2 Welcome Friends nautical wall plaques: 2 points
- 1 hummingbird on a stick looking way too much like a flying platypus: (hee): 1 point
- 7 lighthouses: 7 points
- 6 gazing balls: 6 points
- 3 clearish winged somethings (butterflies, I think): 3 points

- 2 garden flags: 0 points
- 4 whirligigs: 4 points
- 9 lighthouses (OK, now I am pretty sure there is a theme): 9 points
- 4 circular nautical wall plaques: 4 points
- 1 lighthouse on a stick (wow, that is a first): 1 point
- 2 gazing balls: 2 points

- 1 super supreme lighthouse: 1 point
- 6 stripey lighthouses of average size: 6 points
- 19 gazing balls: 19 points
- 1 teeny little lighthouse wind chime on the shepherd's crook: 1 point
- 1 Maine garden flag: 0 points
- 1 tall red lighthouse wall plaque (looks kinds of penis-y): 1 point

Subtotal: 134 points

Creativity Bonus

For a house with a seriously disturbing fetish for lighthouses and hill billy balls and the desperate attempt to welcome "friends:" 4 points

Total: 138 points

The Loyal Order of the Manatee blesses you with smooth sailing 

Feels good, doesn't Lauren.


  1. It appears they believe they will be at the edge of the new coast line. All those lighthouses will help ships navigate and they even have their own sand dune fencing to prevent erosion of the new coast line.

  2. I don't know if Lauren was on vacation when she took this photo but I suspect there is NOT an ocean near-by.

    Wasn't it nice of the yard artist to leave seating for the local wee folk to watch the ships come in.

  3. Nautical trashiness is endemic if not expected at the beach. Inside and out. I'd suggest a percentage handicap on beachhouse clutter to even the game out. Say - 25%.

  4. Feldspar, do I detect a trace of bitterness?

    Actually I agree with you on the principle of nautical trashiness at the beach in fact I think it is an amusing suggestion and would add fun to the game.

    Unfortunately I believe Lauren took this picture in Iowa.

    We will wait to hear from Lauren.

  5. OK 138 points... I give up..not really !!
    A find to be aspired to. I have no words.

    Uh , no one told me there are points ( pun intended ) for photos of
    " penis-y things " and beach thingy's. I gotta grab my camera and go, the tide is a-risin'. see words in parenthacies above.


  6. Beach? Beach! What - Ever! That house is smack in the middle of Sioux City Iowa, down the street from Sunkist Bakery & a Walgreens. Beach my arse.

  7. ...hence my commentary (and I quote!)we drove through the neighborhood and saw this monument to the love of all things nautical. I pledged then and there to return and document this moving, if landlocked tribute to
    the sea.

  8. Kristi, decorative items are one point unless religious or functional. Not much difference to me between a lighthouse and a deer. Oh and so far, I have not been persuaded to count flags (unless holiday related)

    Lauren, I was pulling for you. Unless you had super powers I was not sure had you could have made it to the coast on a neighborhood jaunt.

    Obviously Feldspar was unaware that you are our representative for Iowa.


Field Reporters: feel free to mingle with your public

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.