Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Wide Open Spaces

Imagine you are an artist (some of you don't have to imagine but play along), and before  you stands a blank canvas. You feel the creative powers surging through your body (a supposition on my part). You lift the tool suitable for your media with gleeful anticipation you begin...

eventer79 comments and submits:

"The hilarious thing about this one (which I have illustrated using my brilliant art skillz) was that the house had this huge empty front yard, about an acre of mowed grass, and all the yard art statues were just lined up in one little line next to the road on the side of the drainage ditch.  Proportions in my beautiful drawing are about accurate, with the red dots illustrating the statues."

and line all your items in a row beside the road: A yard art minimalist.
no one understands your genius

 The feud between the roosters and the egrets had escalated. Divine intervention was required.

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries..."
"Keep thee taunts to thouself Edward, or I may be forced to smiteth thee."
"I'm sorry"

 There would be no lightning strike this day

Score (list provided by eventer79, my  comments are in red)

  • Preening rooster with settee? (what?, most roosters prefer lounge chairs): 1 point
  • Cherub w/ animals (nice try but harp and bird wings = angel): 0 points
  • egret: 1 point
  • mini well with three flower markers: (with shingles!): 4 points
  • egret #2 (being taunted): 1 point
  • another angel (controlling the violent nature of roosters): 0 points
  • another rooster (they are different, I swear) yeah this one is sassy: 1 point
  • 2 piles of frogs: 2 points
  • frog art metal screen: 1 point
  • flattened raccoon (what happens when you try to interfere with a blood feud): 1 point
  • children w/ swing scene: 1 point
Subtotal: 13 points

Creativity Bonus

If you only have a handful of yard ornaments and a sea of grass, really this is the best approach to share your treasures with the world and of course separate the birds: 2 points + 1 point for the great illustration.

Total: 16 points

artist angst:


  1. Methinks the homeowner wanted to make sure her yard art was seen and photographed by the roving gnome reporters....

  2. Maybe the owner put them out for trash pick up.We just had an owner dispose of a birdbath and a headless statue. And of course, someone else came by to claim and reuse.

  3. Mom L, exactly. If you have all those great ornaments around the house, who could drive by and admire them.

    GWGT, quick track down the headless statue and get back to us.

  4. Technically, I think you owe me balls too because the homeowner turned down the driveway while I was taking the pictures and stared at me. Like any true field reporter, I took pictures faster and then bolted.

  5. Technically, you must post your feats of bravery to earn a gold ball.

  6. I forgot until today, LOL, when I started thinking about that yard, it was months ago...oh well. I did post in the comments! My crippled, frozen brain fails again.

  7. How and where do you find these yards? I tried looking but, nada.

  8. Laura, are you said about eventer79's lack of golden ball or the little line up in front of the road. Both are indeed sad.

    Bom, It is all about location and having a group of field reporters.

  9. I'm confused as to why the second angel got one point, but not the cherub with the harp and wings.

  10. Good call morningglory! eventer79 was just going to let that slip by. It was supposed to be 0 points.

    -1 (ha!)

  11. oops! Sorry eventer79. I didn't mean to cost you a point!

  12. eventer79 will be OK, but I am trying to my anti-lightning strike record. Whew I feel like I dodged a bullet with that one. So thanks morningglory.

  13. The illustration really brings it all home for me.

  14. I would think that there should be extra points given if you ACTUALLY talk to the homeowner to find out why they do the things they do. Me--I'm too chicken to even take photos of someone's house!

  15. hahahah ran out of paint..that really hppnd to me once bt diddnt write anythng like tht nxt to it.. crazy//!!!

    would u like a link exchnge with me blog

    if yes email me @ sahlcoolio@gmail.com

  16. LOla Nonva, LOL. Great pun.

    Lin, I agree. In fact I asked eventer for the location of the house, because I was going to brave a home interview. eventer says she cannot remember.

    SAS - um, well... good luck on your graffiti hobby.

  17. Um, it's in North Carolina, LOL!

  18. she asked for a golden ball then got a -1 point instead HAHAHAHAAAAAA! greedy eventer.

    but i do think the illustration is worth 2 points.

  19. LOL, and I didn't even notice! That drawing is the work of hours, I tell you, hours!


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