Sunday, January 31, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Pontiac Catalina (formerly KB9VGH) submits for our review
please click on the photo for the whole effect because we need clarification peopleScore
- 3 penguins wearing sombreros: 6 points (the little buggers are wearing tiny hats)
- Eyeball garland (yes that is exactly what I said: 1 point
- 2 Patriotic beribboned wind socks covering fly traps (that's my guess what is yours): 2 points
- 3 flowered fabric sand bags (I have no clue, ballast?): 3 points
- Cause sign and ribbons: 0 points
- Cosy bird apartment including, bedroom bath and kitchen with electric: 0 points
- Plastic flowers for that festive touch: 0 points
Subtotal: 9 points
The doorway is festooned with eyeball garland while Mexican penguins ride astride the door frame. Gaily framed by crocheted and ribboned fly traps and ballasted by print flower sandbags... that is one door that invites me in: 4 points
Total: 13 points
Enter at your own perilWe await your theories.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Imagine my horror stumbling upon this unfolding drama.
Welcome... Welcome dear cats to this comfy bed of fluffy leaves. Sleep, rest and restore your soul. You are welcome here.
And the gnome inches ever forward with his whirling blades of death.
- Garden Gnome whose weapon of choice is a lawnmower: 4 points
Sleeping unsuspecting kitty: 1 point
- Tiny Welcome flag sets the trap: 0 points (the jury is still out on whether to count decorator flags)
Subtotal: 5 points
For the ever continuing gnome/cat feud and the heinous trap for tired felines: 3 points
Total: 8 points
Decorator flags: They are not art but are they score worthy?
Monday, January 25, 2010
Tufa Girl sadly submits:
- 2 strawberry jars used for decoration: 2 points
- 2 decorative milk cans (and bucket holder): 2 points
- Birdbath shaped as a flower: 1 point
- Bear who resists the serene song of the hot tub: 1 point
- Stock tank (in a flower bed? perhaps it is a well): 0 points
- Maiden fountain (concealing what I wonder): 1 point
Wires are connected the water fountain to the stock tank. The stock tank is wired to something underground and has what I suspect is spurter for aeration. I believe we did not catch the presentation at its full glory. Guessing there are lights, too. But for the bleakness of the water nymph because I really do believe she would have a great time on that trampoline: 2 points
Total: 9 points
Tramplines: Giddy jumping pleasure or giant venus fly traps for kids?
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
- Donkey pulling cart: (not your classic kitsch but more on that later): 2 points
- Bridge over a treacherous rock pile (non-functioning except for the donkey): 1 point
- Dangerous pile of rocks: 0 points
- Pheasant: 1 point
- Martin house held up with a fancy PVC stand: 0 points (but worth noting)
For the handmade donkey cart consisting of paper-mâché, wire spooling cable and a flower pot and for the bridge built to ease his burden over the dangerous crevasse: 4 points
Total: 8 points
"Neither rain, nor sleet, nor plastic flowers will keep you from your appointed task. Good luck, Pedro."
The truly talented can be very crafty with wooden cable spools. I found this lovely chair on Crimes Against Furniture.
The concerned face is an added bonus.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
"I believe that I am not alone - neither in the great big 'verse or indeed in my solid belief that garden gnomes are in fact the earthly incarnation of Beelzebub. And I have the photos to prove it."
My advice, in these situations, you remain calm and slowly back away from the area. Also avoid eye contact.
And not that I am obsessive or anything but what the heck is Grumpy (of the Snow White Clan) doing hanging with this rabble. I always suspected he was shady.
Also the twins kidnapped Stewie, who deserves it.
Gulliver in Lilliput: a travel log into gnomish retirement rituals.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Score (eventer79 provides the list, my comments are in red)
- Leaning lighthouse that lost its cap: 1 point
- Little green frog: 1 point
- Inquisitive raccoon: (are there any other kind): 1 point
- Girl kissing gazing ball( I spy the other half of the kissing pair behind the globe): 3 points + 2 points
Corner bench with birdhouses:(what the heck, I thought it was a castle): 0 points
Mini palm trees: 1 point
- Tiny frightened sea captain: 1 point
Large lighthouse gazing ball: 2 points
- Rabbit: 1 point
Flamingo: 1 point
- Two children in giant acorn hats on bench: 2 points
Egret: 1 point
- Red gazing ball: 1 point
Another frog (frogs are popular in the South): 1 point
Birdbath with hugging cherubs: 1 point
Frogs under an umbrella: 3 points (kitsch factor)
2 children under arbor: 2 points
- Small red and blue gazing balls: 2 points
Giant seagull: 1 point
- Rainbow whirligig: 1 point
- Blue jockey boy with chopped off hand (was he stealing from the other yard statues?): 3 points (kitsch factor)
- Plump lovestruck feline at his feet (I think it's dead): 1 point
Fallen decapitated angel -- this section of the yard is carnage: 0 point (edited due to redgirl's determined negotiation)
- Dove: 1 point
- Tiny lighthouse on post: 1 point
Fat pig/cat/rabbit under bush: 1 point
Red kissing couple: (kitsch factor): 3 points
- blue gazing ball: 1 point
- 2 "sleeping" geese under tree, perhaps avoiding decapitation (who can blame them): 2 points
For the gazing globe love and the awesome castle looking bench thing (and the nerve to have bought and proudly display it in the front yard): 3 points
Total: 45 points
Question: what is the purpose of sitting under a gazebo that has no roof. Would that then make it a non-functioning gazebo?
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
- 3 meerkats standing guard: 3 points
Subtotal: 3 points
For the adorable meerkat lookouts and because at this moment in time I am not seeing yet another litter of babies fall prey forces quite easily stopped by the camera man: 2 points
Total: 5 points
I'm sorry, I have to go (sniff, sob). See you guys later.
Monday, January 18, 2010
"What is it with the sudden appearance of be-ribboned gnomes? I randomly (I swear it was a complete fluke) came upon this today http://pelecypods.blogspot.
Tomorrow: Back to business and back to yard art.
Don't I look divine
I want this frilly ribbon bedazzled garden gnome for many reasons, including he could be my new mascot and I think he would dress up the place a little.
And by the way the blog, Between Naps on the Porch out ranks me by thousands of fans. So wouldn't it be great to amass an army of field reports.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Tufa Girl comments:
"For the judge's pleasure, I submit two tiny Texas stars on the "pier" by the Captain. Plus a whole lot of rock - seems to be functional and artistic."
- Frog girl chorus: 1 point
- Tiny terrier on the plant stand: 1 point
- Pig with back fungus: 1 point
- Gardener putting is best side forward: 1 point
- Flat frog: 1 point
- Starving tiger eying flat frog: 1 point
- While friendly frog rides unknowingly on his back: 1 point
- Boy supervising gardener's weeding ability: 1 point
- Tiny mail box: 1 point
- Swinging pig weighing down mailbox lid: 1 point
- Frog with uncooperative note for the postman: 1 point
- Dog with bone: 1 point
- Bear with glandular problem: 1 point
- Girl opening another mailbox (beginning to see a pattern developing): 2 points
- Minuscule bunny: 1 point
- Swan who need a wax job: 1 point
- Cool cat with shades: 1 point + 1 point for dressed bonus
- Snail with bonnet: 1 point
- Best bear bench I have ever seen: 1 point
- Bird Bath: 1 point
- Wind mill (non-functioning): 1 point
- Tiny swan: 1 point
- Joy rider on trike: 1 point
- Palm tile: 0 points (I guess it is a decorative stepping tile?)
- Hippopotamus: 1 point
- Sea turtle (cause everyone know how hippos and turtles are): 1 point
- Admiring lass fan of the sea captain: 1 point
- Teeny captain resting by the pier: 1 point
- Star bedecked pier: 2 points (There you go Texas, I was getting worried)
There were many points of interest in the submitted display but I was not struck by the overall presentation. I will mention the generous use of rocks although the rocks were not stunning in size. I do however have bear bench love: 2 points
Total: 33 points
To go bargain garden gnome shopping with Tufa Girl visit: Get Your Yard Art Here
I hope she picks up some for everyone.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
It is rumored, that his mother is still waiting for her eggs.
- Boy packing a basket full of eggs for his mom's omelet shop: 1 point
- Fountain in a bird bath adored by a naked nymph who has a strategically placed towel: 2 points
For the cracked debris filled bird bath topped by an non-functioning water fountain with a boy eternally waiting for a better glimpse of the lady: 2 points
Total: 5 points
For those of you that have the emotional strength: AI - finding the Blue Fairy
Thursday, January 14, 2010
eventer79 comments and submits one of her famous panoramic views :
"I tried to get a pic of this one last year, but a big redneck was standing in the yard eyeing me suspiciously, so I went along my way, photo-less. Well, turns out the secret is to stop and take pictures when there is an arctic gale so no one dares come outside and give you the evil eye... "
click to get full effect
Score (list provided by eventer79 and my comments are in red)
- Lantern: 1 point
- Windmill: (non-functioning): 1 point
- Dead old school satellite dish (hey, technically it is nonfunctioning!) (nice try): 0 points
- Solitary mallard (that's what you get when you are a duck species that practices gang rape)(you learn many fascinating facts from a biologist): 1 point
- 1 large dalmatian chicken: 1 point
- 3 dalmatian chicks: 3 points
- 2 giant scarlet roosters: 2 points
- 1 squirrel birdbath: 1 point
- 3 "no evil" frogs in a pile: 3 points
- Purple thing in plastic: 1 points
- 1 porch snowman: 0 points
- 2 reclining deer: 2 points
- 2 pink flamingos: 2 points
- 2 plastic geese painted to look like scaups (fancy biologist talk for duck): 2 points
Total: 21 points
Uses for old satellite dishes: I'll get you started
Be the envy of your neighborhood with a space age clothes line
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Heaven smiles down equally upon all members of the Village People
Native American ablazed in heavenly spot light: 1 point
Subtotal: 1 point
Village People Indian in mid "C" lit from above: 2 points
Total: 3 points
You know you are going to watch it:
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Gnome saved from an avalanche: 4 points
For your hubby to heroicly save the frozen garden gnome from the after effects of a blizzard and for how happy the little guy is: 2 points
Total: 6 points
Goodbye Mayberry - Good journey, my friend.
Monday, January 11, 2010
- Bowling ball on pedestal: 2 points
- 5 bowling balls covering the color spectrum on sugar cones: 10 points
I had been waiting a long time for our first bowling ball submission and although the display is linear and not all that exciting, I do like the ice cream cone effect: 1 point
Total: 13 points
What other quasi-sports equipment would make a good yard art display? How about Lacrosse sticks. You suspend frogs, ducklings or rocks in the baskets.
The Dean is an antique collector who probably goes to quite a few yard art sales: No Egrets Antiques and Collectibles.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Meanwhile as we wait, eventer79 comments and submits:
"No holiday is complete without the Christmas Frog. Because amphibians traditionally do very well outside in the dead of winter. Even the polar bears beat a hasty retreat from his monstrous gaping maw."
Nothing like seeing a family of polar bears slowly sliding to their deaths to make you feel all warm and fuzzy. Also, what is with the blue santa?
Friday, January 8, 2010
In Texas, when Winter approaches you huddle your yard art collection together to keep them warm and hang some things on the walls to protect them for the elements.
Tufa Girl comments and submits:
"Does yard art count if it is hanging on the wall? Maybe they have stored it for the winter.... Not a star in sight. "
- Skull with horns: 1 point
- Hand crafted flower pot à la peeled tire daisy: 1 point
- 3 Lion pedestal: 1 point
- Not so decorative well (non functioning): 1 point
- Great big rock: 0 points
- Lighthouse: 1 point
- 2 creepy black people praying to a food bowl: 2 points
- Cowgirl silhouette: 1 point
- Very flat cow: 1 point
- Little gnome under the swing: 4 points
- Owl on a stick: 1 point
- Wind mill (non-functioning): 1 point
- Bookend boys: 2 points
- Gnome with broken fish proudly adoring a birdbath: 5 points
- Shy elephant: 1 point
Subtotal: 23 points
The artist has not captured my imagination with the wintering of the collection but I do love a good cow skull from time to time: 1 point
Total: 24 points
Open for discussion: Bones and Skulls, a good design element or a ghoulish fetish?
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Vitamin Living.com created bone china figures for those people who are more urbane than us country dwellers as an alternative to the more traditionally garish gnome that we all love and/ or dread.
Where is the fun in this?
Belgian Mom comments and submits:
I am annoyed beyond belief that I cannot get close enough to this house to get everything in. I tried. You may have to wait until I can maybe get out of the car and risk a ground assault.
Typical southern yard but wait a minute....
ahhh (shakes my fist) Yeah, you look pretty peppy up there Flipper.
- Angel on a stick: o points
- 2 children: 2 points
- Christmas decorations that is too early to count: 0 points
- Cecil the Seasick Sea Serpent (which almost makes up for the faux nautical birdbath): 1 point
- Puppy: 1 point
- Dolphin birdbath: 1 point
- Frogs-a-courting sitting on bench: 3 point (kitsch factor)
- Leaping dolphin: 1 point
- Chinese Man (maybe): 1 point
- Stuff I can't see: 0 points
- Bathtub: 1 point
Subtotal: 11 points
Even though I am quite disappointed in a dolphin birdbath, the sea serpent is pretty neat so I am appeased: 2 points
Total: 13 points
Beany and Cecil
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
To cheer us up and help us to remember sunnier days KB9VGH submits:
A lovely rose garden and yard art collection protected by a high security (yet tasteful) fence
- Wing of an angel: 0 points
- St Mary: o points
- Decorative wrought iron chair (I love 'em): 0 points
- Boy reading whilst perched on a podium: 2 points
- 3 ducks: 3 points
- Classical statue classically missing at least one arm: 1 point
- 2 child shaped pedestals forever holding up planters (make the little buggers work, that's what I always say): 2 points
- A Bathtub Mary, um bathtub (Mary currently sunning in garden): 0 points
- St. Francis: o points
For private collection of yard art hidden behind an iron fence: 1 point
Total: 8 points
Sorry KB9VGH, you ran smack into the religious exemption clause otherwise known as "I don't want to be struck by lightning today" loophole.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Camile comments and submits:
"We moved Spot, the Zebra over to his new home in Moncure, North Carolina the day after Christmas and threw a big party New Years Day in which nearly everyone had their picture taken with the zebra."
Spot the Zebra
No, Spot , NO!
It is well known that ponies cannot hold their liquor
- Massive party-going zebra: 1 point
- Passed out ponies: 0 points
Subtotal: 1 point
For a giant zebra named Spot whose fan base follows him to the wilds of North Carolina and then inspires decadent revelry involving human/yard art relations: 4 points
Total: 5 points
Golden Manatee approvedFor those of us not on the guest list: New Years Day at Trout Farm
Sunday, January 3, 2010
The Dean submits this oddity from his garden:
So many questions:
- Are those loops his hands?
- Where is his body?
- If his pants are riding so low should I conclude his head is on his ass?
- Where is his belly button?
- Why does this guy keep showing up in my nightmares?
Armless man thingie with low rider jeans: 1 point
Subtotal: 1 point
For the head of a retard placed on a massive legs and for all the questions it evokes: 4 points
Total: 5 points
And why use Slim Picken's Head in the first place?
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
Saturday, January 2, 2010
"This is the sad story of what happens when yard art is allowed indoors and a cautionary tale to all those contemplating it.
First, it was so cold (minus 20), but when I let them in they just watched girlie shows all day. Sheesh! That's how they show their gratitude!"
"But then things got really serious, and back outside they had to go."
- Voyeur gnome: 4 points
- Pigman who also enjoys a little gnome nipple from time to time: 1 point
Snuggling up your lawn ornaments so they can enjoy the peep show does makes this particular artist an enabler: 2 points for enabling.
Total: 7 points
And the year has begun...
Friday, January 1, 2010
eventer79*: 643 points
Belgian-Mom*: 183 points
Lola Nova*: 173 points
d/iowa*: 161 points
Tufa Girl*: 151 points
Tim: 126 points
KB9VGH*: 82 points
Feldspar: 58 points
Lauren: 44 points
Valerie Everette: 40 points
Yer Sister: 25 points
International Flower Spy: 20 points
nereis*01*: 17 points
Pascal Kestemont: 16 points
mt-MT-Mt: 14 points
diffuse: 12 points
Joan J: 12 points
edition-of-one: 11 points
The Higher Power: 9 points
louisbickett: 9 points
cristoba*: 8 points
mugshot: 8 points
Mr Klassy: 8 points
tackyjulie*: 7 points
Alec Lord Gnome: 7 points
Brent and Marilynn: 7 points
CTWD: 7 points
Soiree: 6 points
cool.as.a.cucumber: 6 points
Professor Quentin Ziplash: 5 points
2murthas/Lynda: 4 points
fegbm: 4 points
redgirl: 2 points
* Golden Manatee recipient
Every sport has a super competitor. One who defines the sport for a generation. Basketball has Michael Jordan, swimming the amazing Michael Phelps, until recently golf had Tiger Woods but I am not sure he is out of hot water as of yet.
Along Life's Highway has eventer79 who played the Yard Art Game with such vigor and enthusiasm that I am afraid the game may have already peaked in the first year. With an incredible combined score of 643 points, no one came close to catching her.
From humble beginnings: You are not a Jedi Yet to Consumate Gambler: an example of remarkable concentration and control, eventer79 is our winner and number 1 player of 2009.
My favorite eventer79 submission: Natures Cruelty
Belgian Mom - Second Place
Belgian Mom played the Yard Art Game with the tenacity of a Jack Russel Terrier. When she submitted an entry, we had to be mentally sharp and physically fit to met this player on the battlefield. She completed the year with a total score of 183 points.
Our obvious best negotiator, Belgian Mom continued her cause with Gargoyles are Forever and concluded with Cherubs - are They Baby Angels.
My favorite Belgian Mom submission: Bottle Trees
Lola Nova - Third Place
Lola Nova came into the game about mid-year. She also stumbled upon the Purple House covered in Best Yard. I have the utmost admiration and gratitude that she listed each individual item in the massive collection and saved me hours of work.
Lola Nova did not deal in the small scores, she is more of a big game hunter finishing the year out with a score of 173 points.
Favorite submission and Most Creative: Shrineapoolza
So finishes the year 2009. The scores are set to zero.
My prediction for 2010: Watch out for Tufa Girl, d/iowa and KB9VGH. I believe they were just getting warmed up.