Monday, May 31, 2010

A little Help

CTWD asks for our help in a neighborhood creative crisis:

This nice young couple wants to paint their house. It is currently the burnt orange in the center section. They have painted four sections on the front and have opened a ballot box for the neighborhood. I told them I could get them international help. The panels are numbered from our left to right 1 - 4. Keeping it the current color is not an option. 

Field reporters, someone needs our opinions, and by God do we have opinions. I love the ballot box idea for the neighborhood but I am more than a little disappointed that purple is not an option.

I don't see a lot of differences so 1 and 3 are subtly different shades of tan. And 2 and 4 are similar sea foam greens.  My vote is 3.

Spanish Moose

Some people are born Texans and others become Texans through self-defense. Think of the poor North Western transplant, living in the Texas heat with the neighbors watching them and judging them for their non-Texan ways. What would be the first order of business, well put up gates by golly. And while you are putting up gates you had better throw in a few buffaloes for good measure.

Tufa Girl submits:

and while you are at it punch some stars in the buffalo:

That should do the the job

And they could almost get away with it, except for their penchant for moose and bear. Really, they cannot help themselves.

Score (list provided by Tufa Girl, my comments are in red)
  • Two rusty cibolo (buffalo) metal cut-outs on gate (with stars!): 2 points
  • Weather Vane with antlers (my personal favorite weather vane of all time): 1 point
  • Flat backed bear with fish bench (a little know rule: when depicting north western themed bears, said bears must have fish): 1 point
  • Tiny verdigris moose weather vane (not as awesome and deer skull weather vane, just saying): 1 point
  • Proud bear with "Welcome" fish statue (see I told you): 1 point
  • Dangly fish wind chime: 1 point
  • Some other weathervane (cant tell what is the topper) (might be an eagle it would fit with the theme): 1 point
  • Five two dimensional moose (3 normal sized moose and 2 dwarfs): 5 + 2 points (out of proportional family grouping)
  • A set of  cuckoo clock weights dangling from a plant stand by the door (awesome!): 1 point

Subtotal: 16 points

Creativity Bonus

For the antler weather vane and the collection of  flat moose: 2 points

Total: 18 points

Maybe it was a good thing to move away from the moose:

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Just in time for Memorial Day

It warms my heart to see someone so committed to their art. This may be a house that should be re-visited for other major holidays. Of course I cannot score holiday decorations but Mr. and Mrs. Bunch have other items of interest.

Lauren comments and submits:
Today  J., the kids and I were driving around town and cut through a neighborhood to avoid some construction around the park. Look what we found! Bless You Mr. & Mrs. Bunch!
 Score (list provided by Lauren, my comments and scoring are in red)
  • God Bless America garden flag: 0 points
  • American Quarter Horse atop plant hanger (can't have too much America): 1 point
  • fake black crow! love it! (I love the crow, too): 1 point
  • 3 multicolored whirligigs (one is behind crow): 3 points
  • aged brown squirrel sitting on rocks- too cute: 1 point
  • at least 2 strands of red/white/blue decorative running tube-lights (OK, this is awesome, patriotic glowy stuff): 0 points
  • ancient tattered flag bow stapled to lower section of deck (why do I think this is a year around item): 0 point
  • attack squirrel running up post to chew on the tattered flag flapping: 1 point
  • flag bunting stretched across the length of the porch (dang it, I wish I had said flag bunting!) 0 points
  • super faded camo-soldier, seems to be holding a teensy fake weapon: 0 points
  • yellow support our troops ribbon stuck to wall of house: 0 points
  • another view of tattered flag, attack squirrel & soldier: 0 points
  • flag pole American flag with more decorative red/white/blue: 0 points
  • tube-lights twisted up pole: 0 point
  • American heart-shaped whirligig: 0 point
  • yellow ribbon whirligig: 0 points
  • one tangled wind-chime (the rest seem not to be tangled): 1 points
  • flirty bear with crossed legs wearing a pink bow and dress sitting on porch rail: 1 point
  • black circular 10-pt buck Welcome sign (yee-haw!): 1 point
  • red/white/blue support ribbon stuck to wall of house: 0 points

  • another super faded camo-soldier with teensy weapon: 0 points
  • another tattered ancient bunting flag-bow: 0 points
  • another American flag hanging from eaves of house: 0 points
  • black begging poodle!!! (on stairs): (sweet): 1 point
  • unidentifiable black and white creature on stairs, possibly a cow (or a pig): 1 points
  • giant yellow support our troops ribbon: 0 points
  • most of a white tailed deer (his head is out of view behind a planter): 1 point
  • old-school milk can: 1 point
  • "Mr & Mrs Bunch" sign -obviously love & marriage still goes together like a horse & carriage!: 1 point
Subtotal: 14 points

Creativity Bonus

We don't score holiday decorations because everyone gets a little excited for their favorite holiday. Afterwards they put their festivities away for the year. Lauren did a whole lot of work and carefully itemized all the wonders of the Americana/Memorial Patriot porch.... and well I LOVE the begging poodle and the red,white and tube light show: 2 points.

Total: 16 points

(Lauren even wrote my closing)

I am thinking Mr. & Mrs. Bunch might be a senior couple, judging from the age of their squirrels, and their awesome faded solders. It worries me they have so much stuff on those stairs... somebody's gonna  fall & break a hip.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Hillbilly Balls

Guess what, I begged and coerced the addition of another field reporter: The Water Shack Lady (she who coined "hillbilly balls"). In my pursuit on conquering the world on yard at a time, I moved forward one peg.

Kristi comments and submits:

wind chimes/4 hillbilly balls (gazing globes) it is OK , I am from West Virginia 3 American flags/ 1 wrought iron flower/ and some other stuff...

I've been looking for a West Virginia connect! But she missed the most important part of this find.

And it is not the stunning awnings

  • Bronze gazing globe mounted for tall viewing: 1 point
  • Hanging aqua gazing globe: 1 points
  • 4 wind chimes: 4 points
  • Red gazing globe on a fancy stand: 2 points 
  • Could be a moon on a stick: 1 point
  • Little man in a hat: 1 point
  • Texas star (not in Texas): 1 point
  • Massive water fountain on porch: 1 point  (hope the porch is structurally sound)
  • Silver mirror ball on curly stand: 1 point
  • 2 gnomes (oh Kristie, I love the rookies): 8 points
  • Frog with a flute: 1 point
  • Glass flower on a stick: 1 point
  • Gigantic Cupid bird bath (they have problems with water features and scale): 1 points
  • (edited)Butterfly composed of not one but three hillbilly balls): 1 point

Subtotal: 24 points

Creativity Bonus

Nice collection, some interesting pieces of note including the huge water vessels and well, the awnings... you got to love the awnings: 2 points

Total: 26 points

I just had a feeling that the Water Shack Lady was a talent waiting to be tapped.

Where I Almost Caved And Called Art

It may not be widely known but I do have heart and I am quite capable of spotting beauty. Therefore the the following entries submitted by our newest field reporter was a struggle for me. All that lush greenery and my weakness for rock gardens made scoring this yard very difficult.

emilyt comments and submits:
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle...
oh cute, cute cute.... squeee...... ahem, sorry. Obviously a steam propelled fish

getting back into my comfort zone...

oh, yeah... paint checkers on it and hide it in lush shade plants but it's still a sink

  • Adorable fish making his bid for the open road: 1 point
  • Sink propped on a old garden table without the top: 1 point
  • Old sink being reclaimed by the jungle (not a fan of bathroom fixtures in the yard): 1 point
Subtotal: 3 points

Creativity Bonus

For the pool feature converted into a locomotive (which is so sweet I want to squeeze it. Um, sorry male readers this is my last girly outburst): 3 points

Total: 6 points

emilyt: "SusanH back off!  GAME ON HOGAN!"

I've got shivers. I love a good fight.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

You can never have too many gazing globes

Eventer79 brings up a very good point, as a collector can you have too many of one item? At what point does your touch of color and whimsy become the Crazy Ball Lady down the street?

click on the photos for the full effect:

Birds regulated to the back  oh,and nice sign
Only blue balls are allowed. I feel sorry for Mr. Crazy Ball Lady

Score (list provided by eventer79, my comments are in red)
  • Sun/moon illicit love tree medallion: 1 point
  • 3 sandhill cranes: (how very specific) 3 points
  • 1 anorexic swan: 1 point
  • 2 black ducks: 2 points
  • 1 dejected goose ( I think he misses his ribbon): 1 point
  • 2 sitting white ducks: 1 point
  • 2 yodeling geese: 2 points
(apparently one cannot mix ones gazing globes and ones bird collection) (one cannot, it is against the Crazy Ball Lady rules)
  • dogbone wind chime (and somehow this makes sense): 1 point
  • large creepy alien statue: 1 point
  • 2 frogs -- one holding his head up to support the weight of the gazing globe on it: 2 points
  • 2 blue globes: 2 points
  • 3 wind chimes on porch: 3 points
  • 2 flags: 0 points
  • 2 gazing balls disguised as insects: 2 points
  • giant balloon gazing ball: 1 point
  • 2 decorative address signs -- guess someone didn't like the redneck DIY version (I did): 0 points
  • 6 elephantine butterflies forever stapled to the tree (collections are carefully grouped): 6 points
  • birdbath: 1 point
  • fairy suspended in stripey hoop?: 1 point
  • 2 more gazing balls on sticks: 2 points
  • Hindu guy with a mohawk on a rock (ah man, I was hoping that was Yoda): 1 point
  • Hindu guy on other rock looking sorrowful that he has broken one of the gazing balls: 1 point
  • frog shunning clumsy Hindu guy: 1 point
  • flag stowed in paint stained planter: 0 points
  • yet another address sign -- no one can agree on what they want (perhaps they get lost a lot)

Subtotal: 36 points

Creativity Bonus

I love the division of the collections: bird in the back where they won't wander off, blue balls in the front as a warning for male visitors and butterflies to take the sting out of the warning: 3 points

Total: 39 points

Degrees of blueness (you are welcome to replace the text)

Do Not Be Fooled By Imitations

You are driving a long a country road. And by a twist of fate are not clicking along at a smooth 60 mph. Perhaps you are behind a tractor or an old couple. If that old man is wearing a hat, you might as well hang it up because you are in for the long slow drive or worse yet, a tiny old lady who barely peeks over the steering wheel. Such are the hazards of taking the scenic route. Your mind wanders, wait a minute... you have a camera phone perhaps you can spot a few gnomes today.

Your eye catches a flash of color, you slow or maybe stop.... Disappointed you move on.

Do not let this happen to you...
Know your yard art and woodland folk. What you have passed in your eagerness to be greedy not bothering for that one measly point photo shoot, is a gnome disguising himself as a leprechaun.

A leprechaun has a square top hat and is usually red headed. He sports a snazzy green suit. Also they have an affinity for gold buckles.

A garden gnome is tricksy but he stays in uniform although the color may vary. He is a casual sort more prone to baggy clothes. But he will wear the cone shaped hat although sometimes it is slouchy depending on the amount of starch he ordered from the cleaners. He is bearded and apple cheeked and worth 4 points on the Life's Highway scoring scale.

Let's be diligent out there.


Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Orange Paradise

Memorial Day is coming up. I hope you get to travel to your own yard art wonderland perhaps almost  as  fantastical as White Lake, NC. Not only does everyone have tiny yards full of treasures but it is also the home of the incredible Cement Adoption Center. In five minutes, anyone in White Lake could own a Giant Chicken. Life doesn't get any better than that.

Hubby found this one and whipped the truck around with the admiral passion of a true competitor. Yeah, that's right we roll in a truck to photograph yard art. Hey, you got to blend with the locals.

A classic mega-yard:

Or is it?
Do I spy an interesting form of OCD?

If you didn't catch it... all the little bits are dressed in orange ribbon. Can you imagine the dedication?

yes, even the frogs, pelicans and deer.


Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Yard vs. Neighborhood

A serious Dutch couple void was developing here at Along Life's Highway so a call was put out to correct the problem. Dutch people kissing is a classic kitsch item and while not as flashy as the elusive gnome, they bring a smile when you see them.

Lauren answered the call and asked a very good question:
"We saw so much stuff in the neighborhood, I didn't stop with Dutch couples. Plus, one of the Dutch couples is up on a porch and the humans had their truck out and the garage open, so I will need to sneak up on that Dutch couple later. So if there is lots of yard art along an entire neighborhood street, what is the protocol for submission?"
Good question: The Yard Art Game originated as a driving game. So I see no problems with combining a street or group of houses as long as the submission is not too long. Long submissions are always broken up to prevent reader boredom (plus I tire easy).

 Yard 1

 Score (list provided by Lauren, my comments are in red)
  • Gnome popping up out of the high grass (great eye): 4 points
  • standing by teensy bird-bath: 1 point
  • waving away bath-seeking Bluebird of Happiness: 1 point
  • 4 "hillbilly balls" lights propped on golf tees: 0 points
  •  In planter, a flying turtle, and a red mushroom; 2 points
  •  Dutch Couple, air smooching in front of American flag painted Welcome sign
  • (multi-cultural!): 4 points
  • a coat of arms-ish yard flag thingy (is that a V or an upside down A?) Upside down A so hilarious: 0 points
  • Another view of Bluebird of happiness peeking around the corner, wondering when the Gnome is going to leave.
Yard 2

Frogs in Victorian courting chair. Left looks broken hearted, Right looks bored. (kitsch): 3 points

Yard 3
  • Raccoon peeking out of bushes: 1 points
  • Right Gnome with shovel, glancing slyly over at seated
  • Left Gnome in classic "I can't hear you!" pose. (Gnome on left is totally chained to the porch!): 8 points

Subtotal: 24 points

Creativity Bonus

A nice street with a sprinkling of very nice kitschy items not stunning but I do like to see a gnome in shackles: 1 point 

Total: 25 points 

Group submission are great, especially if you do not have one items that stands up and salutes.

a blessing thee Dutch Lovers

A Few Changes

The Yard Art Game is growing and evolving which is what it should do. More field reporters are being discovered. I am still  begging but still some players have managed to make their way over here on their own.

 Why does is say "League up there?"

A new page has been added entitled "Leagues".  This area has been set up for mini competitions, hey we all can't be national champions. Some us don't live in an area rich with yard art. It's sad but true. So if you wish to challenge friends or relatives, why not to set up your own ranking? A space has been set aside for you. The players will still be on the score board, the ranking overall will not change. Just call this area a special place for bragging rights.

We have a little sister rivalry going on. I set up a league for them.( Please contact me with a catchy name.) For today, it is called the sisterhood. There are also friends who challenge one another, come on, set up a league. You don't have to do anything but let me know the name of the league and the members. I'll keep up with the posting. Oh, If you want, you can design team logos!

So there you go, the carrot (fly) has been offered. Hop to it.

What's the Deal with Facebook Fan Page

If you are active on Facebook and have an account you can join the fun on the fan page. Post whatever yard art article, link or thought that comes to your fancy.(I do!) Everyone can join in, you just have to "like" me. Yeah, I know not everybody does but that's Facebook's word not mine. The only thing I ask, is do not post pictures of yard you want to be scored and entered in the game. Those need to come directly to the email address as always.

Happy Hunting

Monday, May 24, 2010

The Suburbs - A Lesson in Taste, Culture and Decorum

The Yard Art Game was conceived and honed on the sharp edge of narrow rural country roads. I grew up in what used to be called "the sticks" therefore, I have an affinity for back roads and small southern houses. I'm all grown up now and live in the suburbs where the pickings can be mighty slim.  All that enforced good taste and manicured lawns can inhibit a yard artists innate talent.

Diane submits:

A lovely front entrance:
A touch of whimsy and a peak of playfulness

A sweet little fountain but wait a minute... that's a naked girl and enough electrical cord to put her out on the street. I am being to have my doubts on the "culture"

ahhhh yeah, there went taste and decorum... that's real nice.

  • Girl chasing butterflies without a net (years of  training is involved): 1 point
  • Midnight garden girl: 1 point
  • Girl taking a break by the tub the shows starts at midnight: 1 point
  • 2 dogs helpfully pointing out the local sidewalk rest stop: 2 points
Subtotal: 5 points

Creativity Bonus

While not an inspiring display of yard artistry it is amusing to witness the optimism required to believe that neighborhood dogs can read. Most dogs I know, learn by example... I see nothing but trouble brewing here: 2 points

Total: 7 points

 Everyone sing along!  (I have never steered you wrong... worth every minute!)

High Strung with Intermittent Seeds

My prize came in over the weekend. He seems to be the nervous sort. So I tried to make him comfortable and relaxed by providing him a friend.

Rocket was willing to be buddies but obviously Gordo is terrified of cats.

No one told me that gourds have issues.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

A Rarer Form of Flamingo

I try to make it pretty clear that I am not a sports person. My readers are not subjected to moving sport metaphors or exciting tales of spirit and competition. Unless of course we are talking talking about snagging a great yard otherwise I have nothing for you sports types. Therefore I was grateful for Tufa Girl's accompanying YouTube video, otherwise her cleverness would have gone over my head.

Tufa Girl comments and submits:
Spotted in Fort Worth this weekend is a rare glimpse of the Tennessee flamingo. You can tell them from their tropical cousins as they are bright orange. The flamingos were enjoying the protection of the front yard but steered clear of the owl at the front door and his collection of bird trophies. The swans seemed content to remain swimming around the tree in harmony with their northern cousins.
Ah, I love rare glimpses
But I really really love a metal gate from Texas made with dozens of stars because I was thirsty.

  • 2 orange flamingos: 2 points
  • 3 parrots: 3 points
  • Hummingbird: 1 point
  • Blobby bird: 1 point
  • Iridescent flower (stunning): 1 point
  • Welcoming Owl: 1 point
  • Ladybug on a stick: 1 point
  • Unfortunate mutant purple frog/turtle: 1 point
  • Windmill: 1 point
  • Cow bucket on a wishing well: 2 point
  • White and blue swan (very serene): 2 point
  • Hippo: 1 point
Subtotal: 17 points

Creativity Bonus

The naturalist in me is excited by the discovery of a rare species of flamingo. Unless the flamingos are addicted to drinking orange soda and consume mass quantities of carrots then they are just orange junkies: 1 point

Total: 18 points

Ooooh Tennessee is Orange - (so that makes this whole entry a bad pun... I'm sorry)

Recommending a Good Read

Friends, I have found a naturally gifted yard art field reporter. Water Shack Lady details the year long creative journey of her neighbor, the yard artist: Yard Art a 15' x 25' Canvas .

My favorite quote:
I am not a professional yard art critic. We have a gnome in the back yard. OK also a hillbilly ball (otherwise known as a gazing globe ). Let she who is without yard art cast the first GNOME.

First, I love "hillbilly ball" and Water Shack Lady, we are professional yard art critics so we cast quite a few gnomes.

"Where do want me to lob this?"

Take a read, perhaps she will play with us. Perhaps she will permit the use of one of her pictures.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Stump Sitting in Chatham County

Over a year ago, a tree cutter came to our front door. Hubby being the neat and tidy sort agreed for the tree cutter to removed some scraggly pines, some dead pines and a couple that he did not like the way they leaned. The offending trees were tidily taken away leaving my property rendered with stumps.

Stumps (for me) are a very challenging landscaping problem. Basically they are tree skeletons. When the tree goes, I do not want a daily reminder of what was once a living and viable part of my yard (the same goes for dead ferns in pots)

SusanH comment and submits:

"I about wrecked the truck and got eaten by a Chow mix, but I HAD to get this angle on this one! "

 I don't blame you SusanH, something IS going on here but I must admit it is a decent approach to tree stumping.  Much better than the grillin' table approach used in my back yard.

A group huddle, innocent enough from the back

"um...hey...ah nothing going on here... just move along quietly and no one needs to get hurt..."

  • 2 gnomes moving a what I suspect is a body: 8 points
  • Miss Blue Bonnet who is not a very good look out: 1 point
  • Two fellows checking out the suitability of a log (for body stashing I am sure): 1 point
  • 2 mushrooms (on the backside): 2 points
Subtotal: 12 points

Creativity Bonus

Not only do I applaud the use of a tree stump for something other than a seat or a table, I suspect the the stump acts as a dumping ground for nefarious gnome activities: 3 points.

Total: 15 points
Move along...

The Memorial

When Fred Johnson was a baby his mother bronzed his baby shoes so she would always have a memento of his childhood.

When Fred Johnson died, his grieving widow followed the family tradition:

She shipped the other one to their son.  I hear the daughter-in-law is so thrilled.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Contest Winner and The Ride of the Valkyrie

Note from Lifeshighway:

The judging of the Manatee Contest was conducted by myself and The Higher Power. Lifeshighway wishes to state to all persons involved that the final decision was made by both of us. But... The Higher Power deemed me too soft (I am) and too involved with my players (I am) to give a fair judging. So I turned her lose and she swooped down on my field reporters like an avenging little blonde valkyrie. What follows are her comments. I agreed with her judgments. (my additions and feather smoothing are in red and the submitters comments are in blue)

Cue in the Wagner (It sets the mood)

As players of The Yard Art Game I assumed everyone was familiar with the concept of “rules”, And as much of a fan as I am of negotiating, some rules are essential. In this case it’s the manatee. As part of the name of the award, I feel the whole manatee thing is kind of essential. In fact, if you look at “Golden Manatee” it’s the only noun. It’s the crux of the thing. Take out Manatee, and you’re left with a measly adjective. It’s like a cake decorating contest without the cake part, you’d just be smearing icing everywhere.

Rule #1

The Manatee may wear a coat or arms, bear a shield with a coat of arms or be incorporated in the heraldry design.

Tufa girl submission 1: 

"Sirenia comprise four species of dugong and manatees.  Sirenia inhabit rivers, estuaries, coastal marine waters, and areas near the treasured seahorse birdbath.  Prior to the mid 19th century, mariners referred to them as mermaids.  Urban legend speaks of Sirenia's ancestors, commonly known in Greek mythology as "sirens", luring lonely sailors to their death.Not all mermaid stories involved them being devious and dark. In British mythology, some mermaids are told to grant wishes and in Japan, are said to grant eternal life. In Warsaw, mermaids were thought to have protected the capital and aided soldiers in the face of war and are immortilized in that country's of arms. It would seem only natural the revered Sinenia and her treasured birdbath be forever (or for a year) immortilized when the countryside yields spectacles worth her majesty(Ok, you asked for it. - Please no more begging.)"

She is large, and she is golden, and in her childhood she may have been cruelly compared to one, however, she is not a manatee. I do kind of like her… but I cannot bend! (I like her too)

The Manatee must be Golden (obvious I know ... but still I am trying to make this simple)

Tufa Girl submission #2 - (and the most awesome incredible spectacular seahorse birdbath of all times, thank  you very much!)

I’m keen on the layout, but confused by the lack of Manatee. Adding the word “Golden” in front of the word “Manatee” does not make this more correct. (ouch, still it immortalized the super rainbow seahorse birdbath)

Second Place

Diane submits

Look how majestic! I was torn with this one, but I thought more could’ve been done on the shield to make it *POP*. And I’m not a big fan of the Travelocity Gnome. It was tough though.  (The Higher Power is very very demanding, I loved this one)

First Place

redgirl's  submission:

"What we have here (in case you care, and even if you don't) is a chalk pastel coat of arms with conte crayon detailing. The green is for lawn grass coloring, the blue is so that the manatees will feel at home in the water. They are holding plants b/c all heraldic animals seem to be holding some sprig of something (and, come on, it's a four leaf clover...). And then a rooster. 'Cause roosters are awesome. And you have a chicken-themed sidebar."

This I like. There are not only 1, but 2 manatees, they are golden, and they appear to be very generous with 4 leaf clovers. The homemade touch doesn’t go unnoticed either. The yard chicken is acceptable, as homage to the giant chicken, though I might’ve preferred a gnome.Also, this is the closest we got to having a Rampant manatee, which is what I was keeping my finger crossed for. I also had a secret wish for Manatee Rampant. 

Good job, Red Girl

Well there you have it, Along Life's Highway's First Giveaway. We had fun reviewing them and I hope everyone had fun seeing them. Red Girl's Shield will be awarded to the recipient of the Golden Manatee Award. Redgirl drop me a shipping address.

The Manatee acknowledges her unfortunate lumpy looking cousins and hopes to meet them in the field of battle.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

The Guardians to the Upper Kingdom

In any fantasy story worth reading, there is a doorway, secret passage or portal that transports the hero from the "real" world to the alter-reality world. Sometimes it is full of flying doggy dragons, or fairies or talking animals. Other times the secret world is not so friendly. Ponder this, would you actually want to pass through a secret entrance that gnomes find worth protecting.

cwalsh415 comments and submits:

"Yep. Here it is. What's left of the beanstalk Jack used to climb up through the clouds in search of the hen that laid the golden eggs. I always thought this was a simple child's tale or a myth or outright braggartry & fabrication from the bloody Englishman of FEE.... FI..... FO....FUM.... fame. Note the bison/buffalo standing guard over his dominion around the tree trunk...."

Gnome ring protecting access to the secret gnome kingdom.

I knew those suckers could climb!

  • Buffalo not allowed in the inner circle but he does have some nice round stones, it's enough: 1 point
  • 3 mushrooms: 3 points
  • Flying bird on a stick: 1 points
  • Nasty little bird with an attitude: 1 point
  • Twin gnomes off duty: 8 points
  • Mini-gnome guarding the southeast sector: 4 points
  • Troll-like toads (Gnome land must be a beautiful place): 2 points
  • Mini-gnomes guarding the southwest sector: 4 points
  • Large menacing gnomes blocking entryway: 8 points
  • Turtle (poor lost soul): 1 point
  • Sun on a stick (but not glowing): 1 point
  • Bird on a stick: 1 point
  • Wreath on a tree (oh no, someone must have attempted the climb... and failed): 1 point
Subtotal: 36 points

Creativity Bonus

For a magical ring of gnomes and the subtle hint of doom and because the buffalo really likes his shiny rocks: 3 points

Total: 39 points

OK, I would totally risk the tree if I could get to ride Falcor:

Last Day For Entries

Today is the last day to get your entry in for the Gold Manatee Coat of Arms Contest.

Where you can win this lovely prize: The coveted glow in the dark sun-on-a-stick.

Sammy says he and his homies use it to pimp their yard.

I told you I would nag remind you.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The Car Lot

Unfortunately, there is a southern tradition of vehicles adorning the front yard. Actually this yard is fairly pristine because everything seems to have wheels.

Diane comments and submits:
the fowlers......their yard IS pretty foul. LOL!
(that's terrible, Diane)
A certain amount of je ne sais quoi is needed to hang a stuffed parrot in an artificial tree
You got your car, and your trailer for sale to support your satellite TV habit

Well of course they have a dune buggy

  • Parrot: 1 point
  • Birdhouse in fake tree: 1 point
  • Large fake tree: 0 point
  • 2 satellite dishes: 0 points
  • Windmill: 1 point
  • Compass thingy: 1 point
  • Lion: 1 point
  • Old school monitor but apparently not for sale: 0 points
  • Pelican: 1 point
  • Empty flag pole (how sad): 0 points
  • Birdcage: 1 point
  • Hope bird did not suffer the same fate as the very dead fern: 0 points
Subtotal: 7 points

Creativity Bonus

While I am truly moved by all the vehicles in the yard and by dual dishes, I think they could have shown a little more effort and thrown in a seahorse birdbath in or perhaps a lawn jockey. (I do like the parrot, though): 1 points

Total: 8 points