Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Yard Art - Halloween Edition

Before I get hate letters (like that would happen, like I have hundreds of readers who will jump at the chance to write me vile filled emails of disgust) just let me say that today is Halloween so I feel justified in my actions.

Diane comments and submits:

"What if I start a sister blog for life's highway called,  "life's a joke then you croak"- PLOT ART. Lmao! I love it.  OMG."

The skull lantern adds just the right holiday flair for the season

Score (well it is someone's eternal home it is not)
  • Lantern that probably glows in the dark: 1 point
  • 2 dogs ( I hope they do not represent his/her real dogs because then I would feel a tad guilty): 2 points
  • Sponge Bob: 1 point
  • All plastic and silk flower arrangements and wreaths are expected so will not be counted or perhaps should not have been mention.
  • Solar lights at the foot stone.
Subtotal:4 points

Total: In the driving game, when a graveyard is on your side of the car you lose your score, so Sorry Diane: 0 points

Happy Halloween - your scare for today:

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Trade Show Season - Hell

It is almost over and I can continue with my normal activities. I am going in to work today and hopefully there will not be a mass killing and no alcohol will be involved.

Meanwhile enjoy and pay special attention to the first thirty seconds because I have a few words to say to the man interviewed about taste and culture. (which ALWAYS includes a seahorse birdbath)

priceless... Pat is my new hero.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Rental Illusions

Marketing is an interesting career. Massive amounts of time and studies are spent to ascertain the current purchasing trends and consumer desires for a particular economic or age group. Advertising literature and sounds bites are then focused on who your market is what the particular market desires.

Tufa Girl comments and submits:

"looking at rental property in Dallas - this listing.... "Sunroom has four sets of tall windows that look out onto the koi pond with its water lilies and seahorse motif."

Well, that is exciting. I have a Koi pond myself! We succumbed to the siren call of the water feature and now we have big fishes. Water features have been pretty big in the last 10 years as a landscaping element. Plus the added bonus of seahorses (I think I just had a hot flash) Maybe I need to move to Dallas!

um, I see the big windows in what I assume must be the sun room...

Oh, I there it is. Damn marketers.


One lonely seahorse birdbath without its clam shell basin: 3 points
A little pool of water that doesn't even spray or spurt or have lights or anything: 0 points
Lacking lushness: 0 points

Subtotal: 3 points

Creativity Bonus

As I am severely disappointed in the tiny fountain that is not suitable for Koi, I do appreciate the recycling of a broken seahorse bird bath. I believe theses people need more yard art: 1 point

Total: 4 points

Great marketing:

Monday, October 25, 2010

El Dorado, The Lost City Of Gold

El Dorado is the name of a Muisca tribal chief who covered himself with gold dust and, as an initiation rite, dived into the lake Guatavita. Later it became the name of a legendary "Lost City of Gold" that has fascinated - and so far eluded - explorers since the days of the Spanish Conquistadors.
El Dorado became a kingdom, an empire, the city of this legendary golden king.

They had it wrong. It is a queen who rules El Dorado... a golden Queen who happens to live in Florida, FreakSmack submits:

members of her court
The Lost City of Gold:

  • Blue bird in wheel-type bird bath: 2 points
  • Gold Compass: 1 point
  • Circle of light: 0 points
  • Sea turtle: 1 point
  • 2 Ibis (maybe): 2 points
  • Startled bunnies: 2 points
  • Small birds on cattails (pretty): 1 point
  • More Ibis (still could be wrong): 2 points
  • Leaping dolphins on house: 2 points
  • Light house: 1 point
  • 2 birds of unknown origin with fancy plumage: 2 points
  • Gold sea turtle on gold seaweed: 1 point
  • Dancing golden dolphins: 1 point
  • Another smaller gilded dolphin: 1 point
  • Pelican (apparently only sea animals are sacred): 1 point
  • Cat (yeah, I don't get it either, but you guess you just need a cat at court): 1 point
  • Her most honorable Golden Manatee and Child: 1 point
Subtotal: 22 points

Creativity Bonus

For all the golden aquatic life and for locating the home of THE GOLDEN MANATEE: 4 points

Total: 26 points

The Manatee hopes that the location of the scared pool remains a mystery and would like to say hello the the family.

 Chris J of  At My Soiree awarded me this honor for my last dramatic film. I think I am close to making an epic feature.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Thank you, Town of Burgaw...

eventer79 poses a philosophical question and submits:

"Why have a golden marine mammal when you can have a golden sphinx-cat-mask-thing"

I don't know, gold marine mammals are pretty great...

 what the heck is that!... I'm not seeing the gold
Seahorse birdbath sanctified by  praying angel (as well it should)

lumpy duck

Nothing like good North Carolina soil

"And that is a seriously ambitious trellis for that poor little cattywompus rose. "
It looks like they got their gardening skills from the same book as me. Hey wait a minute, isn't eventer79 inside the fence?

Score (List supplied by eventer79, my comments are in red)

  • 2 canada geese: 2 points
  • 1 bear? on a swing banner (seems so): 1 point
  • 1 giant swan: 1 point
  • 2 roosters (a rooster and hen): 2 points
  • 1 red and white.....wind turny thingy??: 1 point
  • 5 squirrels of varying races ( we are the world, we are the children): 5 points
  • 1 golden masked sphinx thing (just wow, and yet ugly): 1 point
  • 1 seahorse pedestal supporting an angel: 3 points (kitsch) + 1 point for broken and still in use - 0 for the hardworking angel
  • blooming orb holder: 2 points
  • 2 mini birdbaths beneath it: 2 points
  • dutch style windmill (leaning a bit): 1 point
  • windmill out back (non-functioning): 1 point
  • house plaque by door: 1 point
  • whispering children statue: 1 point
  • blue jar whirligig complete with  matching bell (I bet they don't ring it): 2 points
  • Ugly duck whirligig  with reflector added to keep low flying planes from running aground: 1 point
Subtotal: 28 points

Creativity Bonus

For a seriously disturbing ugly cat gargoyle sphinx thing (even though I can't make out the gold) who seems to be toothless so probably also old and mean: 3 points

Total: 31 points

There really isn't anything needed to be said about her obvious endowments. Perhaps she should have them gold tipped?

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Mutiple Wives... yeah that doesn't usually work

Mildred hated Casey the instant Tom brought the bitch to their lovely home. Why did Tom think he needed another wife and why did she have to be younger and prettier? Mildred detested cute Casey, she had never even seen a cute turkey before, obviously Mildred needed to rectify the situation.

Mildred planted the seed, perhaps Casey was putting on a few pounds...

Casey's dream of being the first turkey super model did the rest.

I'm so weak.....
Shut up, Casey... geez what a whiner

Tufa Girl submits:

  • Butterfly: 1 point
  • Tom and Mildred Turkey: 2 points
  • Deflated Casey (eat a sammich): 1 point
Subtotal: 4 points

Creativity Bonus

3 turkeys who will need to lay low in the next month and should really work on building some leg muscles: 2 points

Total: 6 points

Casey has always been unlucky in love:

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

There is more than one use for a yellow rope and other scenic landmarks.

In North Carolina we have highway signs with important little factoids noting something intersting and/or historical happen nearby. It can be very dangerous to stop on the side of the road to read these little tidbits but you see them as you drive by.  They tease you with their little kernels of knowledge.  I am not sure if other states have them but if they were on Prince Edward Island, I would definitely stop.

Marguerite comments and submits:

I have a book entitled Prince Edward Island Book of Musts (The 101 Places Every Islander MUST See), author Erin J. Moore, MacIntyre Purcell Publishing, NS, 2008.  It lists the many attractions the island has to offer, some well known and others not as much.  Numerous important personages chime in and provide their lists of must see places on the island.  One such noted person is Patrick Ledwell, stand up comedian. Top spot on his list - Painted Plywood Yart Art.  He states "Keep your eyes peeled for classic plywood themes, such as "Woman Unwittingly Revealing Bloomers While Weeding Flowerbed" or the more contemporary and risque "Boy Peeing Plastic Yellow Rope"."

Not only am I impressed that plywood yard art gets a mention in a published book but I'm thrilled to announce I've found the coveted 'boy peeing':

Let's take a closer look

"Oh, honey stop the car..."

Score (list provide by Marguerite of Canoe Corner, my comments are in red)
  • One little boy forever disgracing himself next to the highway: 1 point
  • Two vintage farm implements: 2 points
  • One vigilant dog (probably jealous of the boy's innate talent): 1 point

Subtotal: 4 points

Creativity Bonus

For an historical yard art item of cultural significance: 3 points

Total: 7 points

Come on admit it. You thought the same thing I did:
 "Wouldn't it be great if the pee glowed in the dark!"

Pete Sets A Trap

Pete being the over sensitive type, began to discern a lack of focus from his partner, lifeshighway. Pete contemplated a world where he was not the most important element of her life. What if he stopped getting his excellent butt massages (long story), what if she stopped bringing him apples or worse yet what if he no longer could just reach over and eat lifeshighway's trail lunch of choice: cliff bars.

Obviously he needed to help, this could be an emergency.

His plan... live yard art capture

come on... come on... get in there, bunny
His problem... horses do not understand scale.
His remorse... "dang, I used my last carrot in the trap"

Thanks Belgian Mom for capturing Pete being uncharacteristically helpful. Too bad you did not get the shot of him setting the trap. He is very clever hooved, you know.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Field Reporting - Investigative Journalism

Laura of Fetch My Flying Monkeys is not modest nor is she a shrinking violet. Most yard art field reporters practice stealth and spy methodology. Laura tries a more direct approach (plus I suspected she wanted the attention):

"I submit for your judging (and scoring) The House of Yard Art. There was no one home- we knocked after we practiced the ol' "I'm working on a photography project on yard art and your yard is so beautiful, can we please take pictures of your beautiful yard" speech, so that was in vain. This has got to be worth hundreds, nay, thousands of points."

proof of direct confrontation of selected yard artist: the front porch
troops lined up ready for inspection

move along, move along... nothing to see here... Fred don't look into the camera.

  • Blue Jay: 1 point
  • Duck: 1 point
  • Hill Billy bears: 2 points
  • Pair of Indians: 2 points
  • 2 puppies on a swing: 2 points
  • Disdainful kitty: 1 point
  • Bunny admiring patriot fake flower arrangement: 1 point
  • Dufus puppy: 1 point
  • Owl: 1 point
  • Kids leaning on post: 1 point
  • Ent in a sailor hat: 1 + 1 dressed bonus
  • Bored cupid: 1 point
  • Sweet looking cocker spaniel: 1 point
  • 5 flowers on a stick: 5 points
  • Well full of plastic flowers: 1 point
  • 4 blue balls: 4 points
  • Pagoda: 1 point
  • Dead mini gnome: 4 points + 1 point size bonus
  • 3 large gnomes on burial detail: 12 points
  • Tiny gnome: 4 points + 1 point size bonus
  • 2 kids on scooters on blocks: 2 points
  • birdbath on block with large stone (gravity protection): 1 point
  • 2 kids on a porch swing: 2 points
  • Chicken on a stick (sounds like a good snack): 1 point
  • Sad donkey pulling a cart (is there any other kind of donkey?): kitsch 3 points
  • Birdbath: 1 point
  • 18 various and assundry imprisoned do-dads including: chickens, frogs, mushrooms and perhaps pig people: 18 points
  • Also 2 gnomes: 8 points
  • Cupid taking a smoking break while gazing at globe (oh so that is what they are for): 2 points
  • 4 more flowers on sticks (I suspect they glow in the dark): 4 points
  • Cupid switching on disco ball for the Saturday night dance (ah see, the flower lights): 2 points
  • Anticipating bunny: 1 point
Subtotal: 97 points

Creativity Bonus

For the yard art prison and the gnomes misdeeds caught in bright daylight: 4 points

Total: 101 points


Stroll through the garden without fear of reprisal:

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Revealing Parts Of My Personal Life

It is Fall. What does Fall mean to me:

1. Endurance races - the hellish summer heat is over and I am on my horse, messing with my horse, training my horse or traveling with my horse.
2. I am in Marketing and it is trade show season. This time every year, I am working overtime, pulling out my hair and basically stressing about not being able to do more of #1

The result: Less time for blogging. And the poor little Yard Art Game is suffering. Submissions have dropped, my statistics have dropped. And why would that bother someone who is already too busy? Because I am pretty much an obsessed nut-ball.

Anyway today we will discuss one of my obsessions:Pete. I got it in my mind that Pete, the horse, would really appreciate not carrying around my over-large butt. So over the Summer and Fall, I have been losing weight. Less weight means an easier time for Pete, right?

Therefore I thought I would share a before and after picture:
That's my personal trainer in the "after" doesn't he look good.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Technique #12 and #13

It was suggested to me that the drop in entries maybe due to our more timid reporters not having the skills needed to capture a great yard without feeling personal peril. Tufa Girl demonstrates a great stealth technique:

Tufa Girl comments and submits:

"#12 - Attend a small town festival where the action happens right in front of the house with yard art.

#13 - When you can not get photos of the back yard.... look for a neighboring garden you can walk into and take a photo of a really great rose. Then stroll as close as you can to the yard art home until the dachshund starts to bark. Retreat slowly and point to the cute clowns walking by."
- Brilliant!

 You can always tell a home of good taste by their naked ladies and their busts
 The patrons of naked ladies are always extremely patriotic - the more you know

Score (Tufa Girl supplied the list, my comments are in red)

  • Going for the obvious:  5 Texas stars: 5 points
  • A birdhouse with a view into the bedroom window: 0 points
  • Frog and turtle love planter: 1 point
  • 4 tiny Patriot flags: 0 points
  • 10 dangly wind chimes of one fashion or another: 10 points
  • 3 birdhouses: 0 points (but good for Cheap Rooms!)
  • Beautiful peacock  (by the security signs): 1 point
  • Birdbath – or should I say bathing beauty bath (she's naked and displaying her girls): 2 points
  • Bust and pedestal: 2 points
  • Garfield stuck to front door: (I never found him funny) 1 point
  • Sweet white girl sitting on white settee next to the fall mums: 1 point
  • “Welcome to the Nut House” sign (interesting): 1 point
  • Statue of 2 really scary bird heads behind the beauty (dueling parrots): 2 points
  • Copper thingy (to left of steps): 1 point
  • “Neighborhood watch” cat sign (and they are cat people): 1 point
  • 2 Ornate crosses  with (perhaps – glow in the dark?) green center (ummm, crosses...) 0 points
  • Statue in lovely birdbath with 2 red planters: 2 points
  • White wooden chair with multiple ornaments (did not get a good shot) (I'll give you 2 points)
  • Great green fountain surrounded with celtic cross and shells: 1 point
  • 3 more Texas stars – on front driveway gate, sidewalk gate and backyard gate: (a Texan patriot for sure): 3 points
  • Indian elephant carrying a planter of yellow mums (yeah this is cool): 1 point
  • 3 saints: 0 points
  • Lion water fountain: 1 points
  • 2 iron bells: 2 points
  • 3 birdhouses (out back): 0 points
  • Momma bear with red bonnet (cute) 2 points
  • Dog next to a deer and a cat: 3 points
  • Little girl with bowl: 1 point
  • Lovers embrace statue: 1 point
  • Round metal windchime with red clapper: 1 point
  • Cherub? on the top of backyard fountain: 2 points (pretty sure it is a cherub)
  • 2 more statues  to the right of gate (they love the arts): 2 points
  • One more Texas star on the far side of the house: great drinking game tonight!: 1 point
Subtotal: 53 points

Creativity Bonus

For the liberal use of stars in a stripper type setting: 3 points

Total: 56 points


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Cow Attitude

Being a celebrity athlete and renowned world wide as childhood icon, Bessie had some clout.

"After the milk sponsorship and Hersey signed me as spokes-cow I no longer find it necessary to to go leaping about. The terms of my contract specifically stated that said moon would come to me alleviating the need for major feats of caloric expenditure. Now some one get me a Bling H2O and a deep fried Snickers."

Originally uploaded by Dean Jeffrey

One day when I'm get rich and famous as a blogging icon, I'm buying the water:

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Two Great Tastes that Taste Great Together

Normally, I don't like my favorite southern yard art icon fooled with. Yes, put the stripes of color on the seahorse birdbath if you must (actually I LOVE THAT!) but don't amend its kitsch beauty by piling on other do-dads for example:

But rules are made to be broken and I kind of like the seahorse birdbath submitted by Tufa Girl:

  • Peacock gracefully resting in the clam shell basin: 1 point
  • Seahorse birdbath gracefully and eternally arching under their burden of offering liquid refreshment to the birds of the world: 3 points
Subtotal: 4 points

Creativity Bonus

For the blending of my favorite aquatic animal with the flashy and stunning Asian bird: 3 points (I would have given 4 if they would have painted stripes on the seahorses).

Total: 7 points

We should see more peacock yard artistry given their natural grace and beauty:
well perhaps not

Monday, October 11, 2010

Monkeys must wear diapers - It should be a law

Diane comments and submits:

"passed this little treat about 30 miles south of Savannah...I know how you love little trivia tidbits so you must know that this house is about a mile from the 'smallest church in America'."

Score (list provided by Diane, my comments are in red)
  • 8 birdhouses? (must have a lot of ground bird, only one is tall enough to be remotely functional) 7 points
  • 3 shells on a wheel: (shells are not counted but I like the effect) 1 point
  • painted saw blade: 1 points
  • 4(I think) chimes in background on house: 4 points 
  • painted plant holder?: (some kind of painted tub on a handmade painted plant holder cart): 1 point
  • hummingbird: 1 point
  • squirrel: 1 point
  • horse (tiny horse in a tiny corral): 1 point
  • green frog and yellow snail on a basin? what? (I questioned the presentation and then I saw the basin and I though "well of course": 3 points
  • woodpecker: 1 point
  • something on a rusty can under the woodpecker (how about an ugly blue toad): 1 point
  • rusty windmill thing (yep needs some paint): 1 point
  • fabulous dolphin motif: 1 point
  • pelican: 1 point
  • tiny white rocking chair next to flowers in a bath tub? (close enough): 1 point
  • 2 dolphins hanging from a tree (thanks for the arrows, excellent Photoshop work): 2 points
  • red and white striped lighthouse on a birdbath by steps: (can't have birds wrecking a shore): 2 points
  • long blue swirly thing to left of porch (no idea): 1 point

  • 2 monkeys with freakin diapers hanging from a tree (if you have ever been to a monkey house at the zoo, you would be glad for the diapers): 2 points
  • birdhouse, owl and fish maybe?: 3 points
  • I think that maybe a gnome on top of the yellow building, what do you guys think?
  • windmill (mini size): 1 point
  • 2 pelicans (on a little tiny pier): 3 points
  • lighthouse (on a pedestal): 2 points
  • art on a circle plate on a tree.  ? (and a secret code address sign): 1 point

not sure if you score this as one lovely art scene or individually? (um, lovely would not be my word for it)
  • 2 birds (geese flying in opposite directions because of  the magnetic core located at this point in Savannah causing them to loose there baring): 2 points
  • lighthouse (about to be crashed into by large pterodactyl sized goose): 1 point
  • clock (further evidence of secret magnetic core, it is always 5 o'clock at this spot): 1 point
  • man and cross (not touching it): 0 points
  • well house: 1 point
  • husband getting impatient on this last shot- he started driving away. not sure what is here but maybe  black kettle in front?: 1 point
  • a lighthouse planter?: 0 points
  • some animal behind kettle?....I'm reaching here..... ( yeah but I think it is a dog, and i hate the fence): 1 point

Subtotal: 50 points

Creativity Bonus

For the monkeys hanging in the tree in what is obviously a coastal motif yard art display: 3 points

Total: 53 points

I'm pretty sure this monkey has a leather chair in his cage

I almost want a monkey who loves his pet duckie... almost.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Red Girl Is Back

I have missed redgirl of Snippits From a People Watcher. She went back to school and to do important stuff like making a better life for herself. Dropping out from the blogging world so she could focus on her education, left a void. Her witticisms have been sorely missed. I even forgive her from being more clever than myself and telling better yard art stories:

If you have never read this you should

Gina Wells was doing her job at the biggest steeple chase of the year (flips through Dick Frances novels for reference) "Regent Cloud's Pumpkin Spiced Spider"--Spider for short-- won by two lengths to the complete amazement of the crowd. And their outrage. By far outpacing the favorite, there was certain to be a drug test, and race course officials called in Gina, who's job it was to *obtain* things of that nature. Spider relinquished his precious commodity and Gina began to take it to the lab. She felt something wet on her hand and realized the beaker was cracked!!

The only thing nearby was a powder blue orchid vase, and she grabbed it, transferring the urine. She knew her job was forfeit, and she would never be hired again. Unfortunately as she turned the corner, her luck took a turn for the worst.

Dastardly Dan, who was snorting his cocaine on the run bumped into her and spilled more than 3 lines all over her blue zipper dress. He cursed at her as his $500 in drugs settled in the folds of her dress. From nowhere, he pulled a knife and held it to her throat.

"Don't move" he whispered, his drugged twitchy eyes making the message clear. Gina held still. A dress was not worth her life. Even if it had had a built in bra. (or had gone commando that morning, apparently) The lab was only one hallway away, and she had to deliver the urine!!

There was no one in sight...the hallway was clear. Gina tried walking quickly towards the door, but heard footsteps. It was Jockey Jordan! He looked (understandably) shocked.

"I'll explain later" she hissed. "DO something!" Good thing Jordan had always been that friend she could depend on. They heard the chattering of a tour group rounding the corner.

"Hold still!" He snapped. Gina froze. When the group of posh ladies and gents rounded the corner, Jordan glared at them. "What are you DOing here? This wax sculpture wasn't supposed to be unveiled 'till tonight! If you spoil it for the director...."

The group looked collectively abashed and left quickly. When they were gone, Gina delivered the urine while Jordan found her a lab coat. Her job was safe.

Epilogue: Regent Cloud's Pumpkin Spiced Spider WAS in fact negative, but on further testing, it was discovered that someone had nobbled the favorite with a light tranquilizer.

sorry..kinda long..

She's back or at least her blog is which is the most important part. And if we all clap our hands and say we believe in fairies maybe she will visit us one day.

From her entry Words That Describe  on assigning mottos for everyday people:

....and it glows in the dark!
Lightning free for over 25 years!"

Hee, I have a motto or actually 2. Help me choose.

Lawn Ornament Daze

Kristi likes to shop around the interwebs to find interesting yard art for us to potentially purchase. I have been tempted:

A pair of fat kids to remind all of us that it is OK to reach for one more Krispy Kreme. Dang, now I want a cream filled donut... it is already working...they are the spawn of evil.

The shadow left behind by a sneaky gnome... and he is armed with a pick-axe. The gnome will be back... and so will his pick-axe.

"Tasteful porcine Pepto Bismol Pig"  - pretty much says it all
Men tend to like this water feature, I am not sure why.

After extensive research and almost brilliant (dare I say genius sleuthing), I found the master yard art supplier:

The Prairie Warehouse and Curio Emporium

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Star Crossed Lovers

Marguerite presents:

Where do i begin*  (for you youngsters link for tune)
To tell the story
Of how grateful love can be
The sweet love story
That is older than the sea
That sings the truth about the love she brings to me
Where do i start 

Immobilized to the perfectly manicured circle, Mr. Potato Head pines for the love of his life

With the first hello
She gave the meaning
To this empty world of mine
That never did
Another love another time
She came into my life
And made a living fine
She fills my heart 
 Miss Strawberry, the perpetual tease, gives her come hither look but never leaves Dromore Street

How long does it last
Can love be measured by the hours in a day
I have no answers no
But this much i can say
I know ill need her till this love song burn away
And she'll b there..

Sigh... Potatoes are so romantic

Subtotal: 2 points

Creativity Bonus

For the tragic love story never meant to be: 2 points

Total: 4 points

On the other hand, Mrs. Potato Head enjoys a wilder lifestyle:
bring it home to Momma, lizard boy

Monday, October 4, 2010

Potential Death By Velvet

The game has been in a down swing for a while. The autumn doldrums have started where a few reporters  have amassed amazingly large scores and the larger field of players give up hope. No problem, I understand. What we need is a jolt, a shot of adrenaline to get our blood pumping. What we need is a hero.

Laura comments and submits:

I was on my way over to a friend's house and had spotted this disaster of a yard and didn't have my camera on me. I ran into her house and screamed "OH MY GOD TELL ME YOU HAVE A CAMERA!" And she had some kind of crappy point and shoot. I forced her to come with me and first we leisurely walked past it, turned, and I quickly walked up and took two shots fearing for my life because it was a questionable trailer park and I was afraid one of the meth labs was going to explode and I'd be caught, or worse, killed by trailer shrapnel. Like a Velvet Elvis coming at you at 2000 mph can do some real damage, you know?. Anyway, here's some crappy photos easily worth hundreds of points. Maybe thousands. HA!

 When reporting in sketchy meth lab neighborhoods always be aware of vicious guard dogs - a friendly reminder from Lifeshighway.
Know the warning signs: Heinous criminal types are particularly attracted small figurines and faeries.

  • Angel playing a harp: 0 points
  • Lion reposing on angel arbor: 2 points
  • 12 various and assundry children, cherubs and cupids: 12 points
  • Blue fairy with large flower hat: 1 point
  • Another angel: 0 points
  • Rose on a stick: 1 point
  • Red fairy with enormous red flower hat: 1 point
  • Harp: 1 point
  • 2 swans: 2 points
  • Dark birdbath: 1 point
  • 14 fairy-types: 14 points
  • 3 more angels: 0 points
  • 3 tiny gnomes: 12 points
  • Couple under tiny arbor: 3 points
  • Elves fishing: 2 points
  • Kissing elves: 2 points
  • One legged fairy girl: 1 point
  • Tiny gazing globe on a stick: 1 point
  • Gnome in the flowers (has a headache from all this sweetness):4 points
  • 2 swan-like birds: 2 points
  • Tin can (finally real proof of a dangerous drug den)
  • Girl dumping toxic chemicals (proof captured on film): 1 point
  • 4 more kid-like beings: 4 points
  • squirrel: 1 point
  • blue swan (they like swans but not as much as winged little people): 1 point
  • Hummingbird: 1 point
Subtotal: 70 points

Creativity Bonus

For Aslan's 3 line defense of winged (for the most part) battalions to defend the grandma's drug lab: 3 points

Total: 73 points  Not thousands but very very good

Potentially lethal weapon

Sunday, October 3, 2010

The Sad and Dejected

The last few entries have shown the beautiful side of yard artistry. Morbid a bit perhaps, but green and manicured and beautiful in its own way. Hey even the Cadillac was polished to a bright pink gleam. Today we are going to visit the seedier side of the art. Where the artist no longer cares about their precious and hand selected lawn ornaments. Weep for them.

Diane comments and submits:

"omg the pics are horrible but I am desperate for a few points. damn you eventer! "

The lonely cherub no longer perky or lighthearted. Sadly viewing a long forgotten pond.
Festive lawn umbrellas folded up and forgotten, dangly, jangling chimes no longer clanging

Oh no! Tell me it isn't true. Hang in there Seahorse Birdbath. Don't give up hope.

  • Depressed cherub sitting in a dry fountain: 2 points
  • Eagle too dejected to fly (can't somebody help him): 1 point
  • 4 hanging thingies not clanging about: 4 points
  • Dead plants in hanging baskets (OK, so a lot of us have transgressed): 0 points
  • Bird feeder(brightly colored but most likely empty): 0 points
  • Seahorse birdbath (perhaps we can find a rescue group): 3 points
  • Interesting take on "small TV on broken large TV" grill collection: 0 points
Subtotal: 10 points

Creativity Bonus

This yard sucks the inspiration out of you but I do like the peaking eagle on the ground: 1 point

Total: 11 points

 Now this is how you display your favorite piece of yard art...