Wednesday, April 27, 2011

A Bedtime Story

An ancient legend foretells of a chosen one who will be selected and trained by the Lords of the Underworld to lead the gnome kingdom out of realm human garden entertainment and into their rightful place in the world - Supreme Rulers of the Earth and Master of Super Fudgie Brownies (with or without nuts).


 Diane of Loess is More comments and submits

A hand coming out of the earth and grabbing a naked baby disturbs me to say the least

Mothers do not let leave your babies lying on the open ground because the duck is not going to help you

"This one will do""

Score
  • Defenseless infant being coaxed into the soil (and that's just wrong): 1 point
  • Useless duck: 1 point
  • Shell: 0 points (and it's broken, pfft)
Subtotal: 2 points


Creativity Bonus

3 points for the disturb-ability factor


Total: 5 points

I left out this part:
The harbinger of the Fudge Brownie Over Lord will return from the soil. I suggest you keep up with your weeding.

19 comments:

  1. that duck has a look on its face like "What the hell, man? Does anybody else SEE that?" I think he WOULD have saved the baby, but he was frozen with shock.

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  2. I agree with hoodyhoo. The duck is saying "WTF?" (which rhymes - btw)...

    Hey, broken shells should be considered for pointage. It takes a lot of nerve to keep a cracked shell, place it in your garden and say "This is what our son Joe brought us from his trip to Fiji."

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  3. Wow, I actually had to shake the willies off my back. Disturbing, indeed.

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  4. With all the Yard Art Reporters out there, you would think people would have the decency to keep up with their weeding, just in case.

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  5. hoodyhoo, true you cannot depend on a duck in a true emergency.

    Tufa Girl, nice rhyming. Don't try to soften me up with nice stories of sons and Fuji shells. No points for shells especially broken ones.

    MorningGlory, High disturbance factor

    b-a-g, yes field reporters and concerned citizen should be protecting their fudgy brownies and keeping the yards and patio weed free. You never know what might pop out of the soil.

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  6. "So, let's get this straight, Ma'am... you say you were out gardening with your infant when suddenly two hands came out of the soil and snatched your baby?"

    This photo makes 'The Dingo Ate My Baby Defense' sound believable.

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  7. Karen, changelings have to come from somewhere.

    People stop leaving your babies laying around like I do my glasses. I'm always looking for those dang things.

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  8. Why leave a sleeping naked baby on the ground?

    It could be a "tiyanak".

    http://www.thealbularyo.com/2010/10/14/tiyanak/

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  9. Great, Bom! Now I'm going to have bad dreams for weeks. Going to look for a garlic and rosary store.

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  10. Bom, I was wondering the same thing. And thank you for the informational website. Tufa Girl, remember to turn your clothes inside out when you get back from the Garlic & Rosary store. This has been proven to be the best defense. Knowledge is power.

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  11. Yeah, the mere sight of me doing that would turn the enchantment off for any Tiyanak.

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  12. Diane, plesae tell me Henry didn't pose for that picture!

    Bom, thanks for nothing! Now I'll be scrutinizing all photos of my grandson to see if he has fangs.

    Hoodyhoo, your take on the duck is smack on!

    LH, I cannot believe you were able to post a picture of the evil doll head without shaking in fear!

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  13. Bom, thank you for informing us all of this new threat: the "tiyanak". I know I certainly won't be picking up any lost naked babies in the woods from now on.

    Tufa, do you think the garlic will help? Did you see this quote:

    When the victim goes to investigate, they either see a small child that suddenly sprouts fangs and sharp claws, immobilizing and killing the victim, or a dwarf in the shape of a tiny old bearded man that kills them.

    Sounds like a gnome to me.

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  14. Karen, I could not agree more. I might have to go outside and put a salt ring around the house. A new gnome showed up over the weekend. Hubby is not claiming him... hmmm.

    Tufa, I don't think the Tiyanak is going to be put off by your clothing labels. I think they approve of buying off brands.

    Mom L, You know Henry does not have fangs. He is developing some kind of greater power. He will be a superstar for sure.

    Yes, the baby doll emerging from the house plant should disturb everybody.

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  15. Just does not seem right. Wonder where they find these things.

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  16. LH, I did read that quote and again, thanks for keeping me awake all night!

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  17. Mom L, I don't think your grandson is a tiyanak. Unless there is something about you that you are not telling us.

    Cheri, the thought of a gnome turning tiyanak seems much scarier than a baby one.

    Babies that are not real are scary. Sort of Chuckie-like, even the cute ones. Babies growing out of pots are just creepy. Another WTF moment for the duck right there.

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  18. "the duck is not going to help you"!!! I laughed out loud.

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  19. I have an uneasy feeling, that that is MEANT as a comforting image for a mother who has lost a stillborn baby. A cemetery memorial? That baby seems to be folded up in the womb? There is something profoundly terrible about a little grave, just the one date, and few toys scattered around.

    Actually I wanted to see if my Porteville gnomes are cousins to your Life's Highway, but she ain't here!

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