This was my first close call. Might even be worthy of a golden ball. The kids had been in the house playing WAY too many video games today so in order to give my darling hubby a little quiet (he was trying to work in his little hovel office upstairs) I thought I'd take the kids along for a walk by of a house I was certain I'd seen an eight foot totem pole in the yard of a week or two before. As you can see in the first picture the house sits in the middle of a cul-de-sac and the street goes all the way around so I decided to take the kids the back way. Well 7 and 4 yo boys being what they are ended up drawing way too much attention to us. I snapped the first couple of pictures on the back side of the house with no problem.
When I worked my way to the front the kids were pointing and practically yelling "Mom you should take a picture here" well the kids had ran ahead of me 200 feet or so and by the time I got to a good spot and snapped one picture the door opens and an old lady comes out with a tiny little cup of birdseed. I smiled and said hello like walking around with two brats and a camera were the most natural thing in the world.
When I got passed her I heard her say something to somebody inside like "....she had a camera" Ah, glad I went on foot since I drive by twice a day, the mini-van would have been more recognizable. The weirdest part is I KNOW there was a big damn totem pole in that yard a few weeks ago, even husband had commented on it. Oh well, here's the pics, wish I could have gotten some better of the back yard.
Score (list provided by Winnie, my comments are in red)
When I worked my way to the front the kids were pointing and practically yelling "Mom you should take a picture here" well the kids had ran ahead of me 200 feet or so and by the time I got to a good spot and snapped one picture the door opens and an old lady comes out with a tiny little cup of birdseed. I smiled and said hello like walking around with two brats and a camera were the most natural thing in the world.
When I got passed her I heard her say something to somebody inside like "....she had a camera" Ah, glad I went on foot since I drive by twice a day, the mini-van would have been more recognizable. The weirdest part is I KNOW there was a big damn totem pole in that yard a few weeks ago, even husband had commented on it. Oh well, here's the pics, wish I could have gotten some better of the back yard.
Score (list provided by Winnie, my comments are in red)
(I love this picture because you can see how far away from the house Winnie is, she must have a spy lens on her camera)
stick things. A bird condo complex? Tiny mailboxes for the gnome and fairy community? A beer can collection?
- Nice colonial on an odd cul-de-sac ( I would love to hear what makes it odd)
- The blue flag is not a WI flag - I think it's the logo for the local funeral home which oddly my 7 yo's teacher owns, not sure, I'll have to check it out when there's more wind. Might be doing field reporting on Mrs. D's. mother. (wow, if that is a funeral home flag I am mega-impressed!!!! Get back to us)
- two little tin stick things in front of the chimney: 2 points
- Traffic Light, full size (odd to own a purloined traffic light AND a funeral home... just sayin'): 1 point
- Under pine tree on left is a gnome under a toad stool - shows up a little better in next picture: 4 points
Winnie must have spy glasses which would be an essential field reporter piece of equipment
See the gnome under the tree!
- Bald Eagle on Sunflower Pedestal : 2 points
- Blue Heron on unidentified fancy pedestal: 2 points
- 2 bears climbing a tree - I think one is in a trash can ( I found them!): 2 points
Birdhouse on Haunted Hill
- The Huge tower of birdhouse. There were birdhouses, feeders, and squirrel feeders ALL OVER THIS YARD. I bet the neighbors love her. ( I bet the squirrels love her)
- deer hiding behind the arch thingy: 1 points
- I think it may be another deer in the daffodils: 1 point
Still want to know where the hell the damn totem pole went.
Subtotal: 15 points
Creativity Bonus
While the yard artist does not decorate with your typical yard knic-knacs, she has a creepy birdhouse mansion that is awe inspiring and yet disturbing: 3 points
Total: 18 points
For bravely surviving a visit to the Haunted Birdhouse, blowing your cover and leaving with all of your kids (and because the old lady ratted you out to whoever was in her house)
may it hang in glory
Runaway Totem Poles with bad attitudes - don't piss them off.
totem pole
************* per GreenApples' suggestion*************************
the non-spookified picture of The Birdhouses of Haunted Hill
redgirl has offer the winner of the design-a-funeral flag contest:
I would fly it
********************late breaking news*****************
redgirl has offer the winner of the design-a-funeral flag contest:
That is way to funny--your courage points were well earned there.
ReplyDeleteI agree the bravery award is in order. Hard to see in the images a bit though. Needed it be lightened Cheri.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on receiving the golden ball! Maybe you can get a golden totem pole for missing yard art.
ReplyDeleteSlamDunk, wish I could take credit for the funny, Winnie did a great job.
ReplyDeletegreenapples, done... I try to be a full service blog
Bom, I always love it when a reporter receives their first gold ball. It's a celebration.
I think the bird-house may be a totem-pole in disguise.
ReplyDeleteYa'll I promise there was a totem pole in that yard that was 8-10 feet tall all fancy painted and all like it had been lifted from some Pacific Northwest tribe's abode. I even double checked with my husband and he had seen the totem pole as well so I didn't just make up the pole in strange drive-by glee.
ReplyDeleteThat is also the last time I take my kids on foot as there is nothing louder than a 7 & 4 yo when you want to be non-chalant.
BTW - nearly peed my pants when old woman came out of the door.
Flying the flag (I never knew funeral homes had their own flags) of the local funeral home and stealing traffic lights in the area seems like it might be a conflict of interest. Interesting.
ReplyDeleteI'm really loving this post! Congrats on your golden ball:) I reallyreallyREALLY hope that is a funeral flag!
ReplyDeleteI'm too chicken to grab pics if there's even the slightest chance that someone's home.
I'm selfishly glad you didn't get your totem pole because it means I still have the only one
That said, you should check back. It might be like a secret club thing where two houses, both alike in dignity, in fair Suburbia, where we lay our scene, from ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Wherein totem poles make civil hands unclean and full of splinters.
b-a-g, the birdhouse tower does look totem pole-y.
ReplyDeleteWinnie, I am right there with you. When they come outside, I am a momentary lapse of panic. I have been known to throw my brother to the wolves so to speak.
El Gaucho, so am I gaining back your trust? I also call conflict of interest. It is really not fair to drum up your own funeral business.
redgirl, The idea that a funeral home has its own flag makes my day. And that they have a great marketing plan that involves having neighborhood homes to fly their colors... HAW!
I don't know how a totem pole gets up and walks away. I wonder if the dueling homes had a large bonfire. I am getting visuals of the WickerMan.
It's like community outreach.
ReplyDeleteAttention Artists! Graphic Designers!
Do YOU have what it takes to develop a logo for a prominent local business? Submit your designs by June 1st, and one lucky winner will be chosen. Not only will your logo be put on our sign, letter heads, pens, gravestones and coffins, we'll make it into a FLAG. A flag that YOU WILL GET ONE OF if you win! Merchandise will then be made available to to community for affordable prices...just like out plots and coffins.
Do you have what it takes?
I Know I WANT to fly my local funeral home colors. I am proud of my home team!
ReplyDeleteYou are a time thief.
ReplyDeleteAnd now you can! Check your inbox :)
maybe they were reflectors in order to scare away birds?
ReplyDeleteI liked the creepy dark photo of the Psycho birdhouse tower best. Gives it the best appeal.
ReplyDeleteWinnie, congrats on the Golden Ball. Next time, if caught use the "nearly peed my pants" as an excuse to get inside the house. "Oh, out taking some nature photos with my boys, so far from home... could I use your powder room? BTW, didn't you have a totem pole?"
Winnie, congrats! You definitely earned the Golden Ball!! I think the totem pole is haunted by the tribe, and moves around the neighborhood at midnight. You should go back and peer into every yard there!!
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with other commenters - the creepy, scary, psychotic birdhouse pole is, well, creepy, scary and psychotic!
redgirl, I love my gift and I posted it! I might get it made up and fly it from my back deck.
ReplyDeleteTufa Girl, I liked the psycho birdhouse too. It seems everyone is stepping up to get a Gold Ball. If we have a field reporter conclave, there will be a whole lot of clanking going on.
Mom L, I'll check my backyard... I could use a totem pole.
redgirl, I love your funeral flag! Diane - take note: I want one when I croak. Cremate me first, then unfurl my ashes from the flag!!!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Winnie, on the well-deserved Golden Ball. I would have probably run home like a little kid when the old lady came out of her house and peed my pants, too. You are really, really brave!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Winnie. you certainly earned your golden ball with this bit of espionage.
ReplyDeleteI like those totem poles.
ReplyDeleteNothing like kids to blow your cover, whatever sneaky thing you're trying to pull off. Awesome post - and with any luck the vanishing totem pole will reappear. I'd look for it when there's a full moon.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about all of you a little while ago - I'm hooked on Bones, and have been since I fell in love with David Boreanaz during his stint on Angel (vampire with a soul!) One of tonight's Bones' reruns involved a gnome that was the $30,000 motive for murder!
ReplyDeleteOoh, the idea of getting caught is not fun! I have to say though, I think my fiance is beginning to think it is a different sort of game for me to say "next time we come back this way I need to remember the camera!" At some point I'll finally get around to photographing all the yard gold in this region. Wish I could show you the crazy pelican house I saw at Edisto Island last week... maybe when we go camping again next year I won't have buried the camera under all the junk in the trunk.
ReplyDeleteExcellent work. I wonder how the owners would feel if they knew they were the topics of one of your blogs!! LOL
ReplyDeleteIndoor Fountains, I have often wonder that myself.
ReplyDeleteIt's all about the adrenaline rush...like the rush voyeurs get when they peer at women through windows (I think women can be voyeurs too, right?). We just take pictures of peoples yard art.
ReplyDelete"I am a proud yard art voyeur who likes to collect trophies in the form of pictures."
Mom L: I am honored by the thought of your ashes nestling in the "Fantastic Funerals" flag. I wonder if cafepress has an appropriate item to inscribe it on.
redgirl, your genious know no bounds:
ReplyDelete"I am a proud yard art voyeur who likes to collect trophies in the form of pictures."
I may need to incorporate that into a t-shirt
front of shirt:
ReplyDeleteYard Art Voyeur (pic of binoculars)
back of shirt:
Can has trophy? (pic of camera)