Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Save The Gnome

I have been working on a major project at work. Although I wish I were independently wealthy and could pursue a constant devotion of yard art, reality does dictate that I must occasionally focus my energy in other areas.

Autonomously,  I receives this warning:

Tufa Girl submits this disturbing imagine....Let take a closer look
listen ransom note writer: I will not be coerced into being creative. I have to launch this new corporate website today but after that, life will return to normal.
"oh please God, help me"

So far, I have received a tiny finger in the mail. I guess I better get blogging....

Score


Gnome teetered to the side of a familiar building that may or may not be in Texas: 4 points

Subtotal: 4 points

Creativity Bonus

For the heinous act of Gnome-napping and implied blackmail or a very bad attempt of gnome-al base jumping... it could go either way: 3 points

Total: 7 points

Obviously what we need is a hero.

39 comments:

  1. That sounds serious. Better a finger than....

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  2. Rosey, very true. We have the ... and it is not little. Would have required a bigger box.

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  3. It's quite the testament to your popularity that people would go to such extremes to get another post from you. How flattering that your readers would go to such lengths to "encourage" you. But at the same time it's very disturbing that they would take out their frustrations on innocent garden gnomes.

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  4. El Gaucho, you should know by now that Gnomes are rarely innocent. How do I know that you didn't go down to Texas and string up this poor gnome.

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  5. Oh man, it sounds like things are spiraling out of control there quickly.

    I hope this leads to some funny creativity.

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  6. slamduck, I know. There is no excuse for the amount of slackness I have been exhibiting. I am completely behind on my favorite blogs and my submissions are piling up...one more day, and life should return to normal.

    No more gnome parts. Please don't chop off his hat. A gnome is lost without his hat.

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  7. Cute threat with little pointy hat dangling. But that dog has got real problems.

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  8. What a heart-wrenching story. It has reached into the bottom of my soul. Batdog to the rescue!

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  9. I suppose a CORPORATE web-site must take priority ...

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  10. I might remind you that it is heading to an unseasonable 95 degrees today (plus the radiant heat) on this South facing wall.

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  11. Gwgt, the dark knight has issues. He spends a lot of time in the bat cave.

    Olga, I am relieved I did not find his head in my bed.

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  12. B-a-g, that's right I am a semi-important personage.

    Tufa girl, I am beginning to get suspicious.

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  13. One should always beware of autonomous warnings. Once they become self-aware, it is only a matter of time before....OMG, it's too late, SkyNet is awake...

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  14. It take a geek to acknowledge geek humor.

    Great job

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  15. Hahahahaha! I wish I had thought of this first.

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  16. Sounds very serious to me. LOL! I think the Gnome is in on it.

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  17. What could he be getting out of it? I think it is a plot that, once LF ransoms him, she has to take him home. There, he will unleash is dastardly plot from the safety of her lawn.

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  18. Diane, it does smack of you and Henry. Henry is a known gnome-napper.

    Lauren, the pug is just focus. He will leap at any moment.

    Lona, You may be right. Gnomes do like attention.

    redgirl, well someone wants me to get off my duff and start the game. Once the gnome is released, well that is on them.

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  19. Hahahaha! Maybe he's suicidal???? maybe???

    Don't you hate when work gets in the way of life? Sigh.

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  20. This is EPIC! The creativity of this readership is beyond compare...

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  21. I'm afraid I'm doomed to be Anonymous for the rest of time, which means I could say some really nasty things about LH, Tufa Girl and underground gnomes. Not to mention chopping off little pieces of kidnapped gnomes. Ah, well. Blogger hates me - no matter how many times I sign in, your site refuses to acknowledge that I AM signed in. I give up for now - when the gnome is returned, with most of his parts, I will try again!

    MomL

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  22. MomL, have you tried to empty cache?

    I think the dog would rather die from shame than save the gnome.

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  23. The note was unsettling and the poor dog looks very concerned. (Could be he hates gnomes too, and doesn't want to risk life and limb to rescue one, but has to keep up appearances.)

    But maybe the gnome is actually Spidergnome doing that urban climbing thing, 'buildering'.

    Or this could be a high-rise living frustrated gardener's first step in the new trend of Vertical Gardening.

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  24. Ooh Karen, good thought! It would be so fun to decorate a wall up with some astro-turf and lawn art.

    and lh, I think that anything vertical like that should get, ida know, double points? triple points?

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  25. Bom, yes - I do that frequently. I'm convinced that LH has sabotaged my commenting ability because I don't have this problem with any other blogs! Once I sign in, I'm in - except here! The problem started about a week ago; maybe the other trouble Blogger had infected moi!

    Sigh. Come the revolution, the gnomes will be on my side!!!

    MomL

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  26. Lin, I know. Seems like we have all earned the right to goof off for the rest of our lives.

    MomL, I swear I didn't do anything. I do not have that kind of power with blogger. You know I love ya'.

    Bom, I think Bat dog looks like he has died a thousand deaths.

    Karen, I love the idea of having a vertical yard. I think Bat Dog wants to leap in help but he is a little afraid of heights.

    redgirl, I agree. I think urban side gardening could be a new art form. And as I suspect that you live in an apartment building, perhaps you could start the trend.

    Mom L, I did not block you. I am very much concerned about your status here on the highway. I am pretty sure the Gnome WOULD be on your side.

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  27. MomL, it is a sad, sad thing that LH felt so threatened and challenged by your formidable cyber YAW! that she would choose to passive-aggressively block your comments. I see you are fighting back however. Do not allow your voice to be stifled!

    LH, I *did* live in an apartment, but now, I have a very unique lawn: my parent's field. I am not sure how to take advantage of this. (or rather, how to maximize it. If you put a flamingo on a patch of weeds and gravel, does that make it a yard?)

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  28. redgirl, stop picking on MomL. I love you MomL.

    Beside I think no one has perfected the cyber YAW! quite as well as you.

    Yes a patch of weeds, a broken birdbath and a flamingo does constitute a yard.

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  29. Hysterical, nice to see you back in your highly creative mode.

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  30. Now now, LH, I was merely showing MomL that I was firmly on her side in the suppression of her internet voice.

    That said MomL, congrats on not being late to the par-tay!! We will have to make it worth your while >:D

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  31. MomL think of it as a costume party, you get to where a mask.

    I get to wear a pink armadillo suit... YAW!

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  32. *sigh* I suppose SOMEone has to repreSENT the tinkywinky team, so I'll *ahem* take one for the team and don the purple. But not in the good ol' roman emperor way. In the hot and fuzzy way.

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  33. redgirl, don't forget the purse.

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  34. Do I have to? I mean, Po would make a mean mini back pack. Why must I be so stereotypical?

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  35. True, he could hold your adult beverage and leave your hands open for chips and dip.

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  36. Is Po old enough for that? Screw it. If I turned him into a purse, I probably don't care about juvenile delinquency much.

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  37. You guys make me feel warm and fuzzy all over - wait! That's cat hair. Sorry. I can come to this partay wearing red hat - albeit a very faded red hat! It was Mom's - that is, Diane's Gram - and after she died I kept it in the rear window of my car so she could travel with me. Unfortunately, it's faded to a sickly pale brick color. Now, where was I? Oh, yes, bitchin' about Blogger not showing me as signed in for your blog! It works everywhere else. Sigh. Maybe the gnomes have it in for me.

    LH - I'll stop blaming you!!!

    MomL

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  38. Love that pooch in the hero costume. But a little sacchariney sweet for this site, huh?

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